The Reeking Stench of Bitterness (aka Scents for When I am All Bad Moody)

Get that AWAY FROM ME!

There are some days when I wake up, get dressed, trundle over to my perfume cabinet and shudder in horror at the thought of wearing some of my truly beloved scents.

Why?

I overslept, my hair is wet, I don't have a stitch of make-up on, and my general attitude is that the world at large should just be glad I got out of bed and participated today. In other words, I am feeling, if you'll pardon the expression, like hammered shit, and there is no way I feel bold and sassy enough for a dose of Tauer Perfumes Une Rose Chypre, or beautiful enough for my tiny vial of Robert Piguet Fracas parfum, or thin enough for a hit of vintage Caron Tabac Blond, or sexy enough for my roller of DSH Perfumes Erotica.

Everything I pick up is like that quote from High Fidelity: "The thing I really learned from the Charlie Debacle is that you gotta punch your weight. Charlie was out of my class: too pretty, too smart, too witty, too much." There are days when a lot of my favorite scents are, quite frankly, too pretty, too bold, too sexy, too classy -- too much. I can't face them. I want to go back to bed and only strength of will and a desire not to get canned in the worst economy in a century make me do otherwise.

On these days, it can be very hard to find a fragrance and you definitely do not want to be testing anything, because the anxiety of trying something beautiful in an awful mood and hating it is deeply depressing in its own right. To that end, here are some thoughts on scenting your way through the dark down days.

~ Don't be afraid to be a coward. ~

A lot of people will tell you try new scents, look for inspiration, challenge yourself to rise above it and find the invigorating meat of life that will help you turn your mood around. To these folks I say, SHUT IT. In the immortal words of Winona Ryder in Heathers, "If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a person. You'd be a game show host." You're not doing yourself or any hard working perfumer a favor if the stream of cursing running through your mind as you spritz on a new scent is filth of the order most frequently uttered by eight-year-old boys who have just acquired a naughty vocab and are out of their parents' earshot. Run, don't walk, from challenging material. Be a coward today; it's cool. We all do it sometimes.

In bad moods people tend to: eat their favorite foods, wear their snuggly pajamas, watch their favorite movies. We seek, in a word, comfort. The unknown is not comforting. Because I'm not talking about ennui here; that's a different problem. FN1. I'm talking about a black mood, Sally, and not one born of the cumulative circumstances in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, which might be overcome by a good ending a beautiful scent might provide because you're open to such a possibility. I'm talking about waking up on the wrong side of the bed and knowing the day will suck because you are in the mood to refuse any argument to the contrary.

On such a day, wear something you have absolutely no complaint about. If you have always and will ever after, Amen, loved Guerlain Shalimar or can’t get enough of Channel No. 5 EDT, bust that baby out. If you're ready to bite the heads off everyone, don't let a challenging scent get in the way.

This is my FIGHT FACE!

~ Wear a scent you already unconditionally love even if it is common, bad, or otherwise embarrassing. ~ 

Yes! Embrace the known, the overworn, the possibly common and mundane. If you have a big bottle of Estee Lauder White Linen or Ceasar Woman lurking in the back of the closet because you like them and don't care if other people think they are overworn or smell cheap or just all around suck in general, bring it out into the light. Have a brief, torrid, public love affair with banality! Love your bottle of GAP So Pink! with all your heart. You were already in the mood to tell the world “Screw You!” for the sake of it; you might as well wear a scent that might give you the opportunity.

~ Wear a scent that others find boring. ~

Yep. You've all got one. I know you do. You've got a scent you love but other people think smells like a dryer sheet, or you think smells like winter and noses in the knowes think of as white noise. Normally your friends notice and comment on the olfactory beauty in your wake, or hug you and say, "You smell wonderful, (sigh) as always," and then grill you on your recent scent choices. Perhaps on another day you might not want to admit that next to that $300 bottle of LE L'Artisan lurks a bottle of Paris Hilton Fairy Dust, but I say now is the hour of your reckoning! Get down with that reject scent; you're already feeling rejected and full of bile. Spray it all over and then if someone frowns at you, wave your arms wildly, spreading your averageness around like an obscuring cloud of scent underachievement.

~ Wear a scent that flies a little under the radar. ~

I have some very lovely scents that wear close to the skin and, unless you actually get closer than eight inches to me, you would never know they were there. FN2. These are the scents I am most likely to turn to when my mood is more rotten than a crab apple full of worms. Not because there is anything shameful or embarrassing or boring or wrong with them. Simply because the only statement I am hoping to make today is one to myself, a small reminder that despite the general bitterness eating at me these long hours, tomorrow will be better.

Must remember:
Not a workplace
appropriate response!

In these moods, I really like green scents. I like to use DSH Perfumes Hemlock or a little Miller et Bertaux No. 3 Green, Green, Green, Green to help assuage my ill temperament, though the latter is almost too large sillage-wise for this mood. Big sillage means attracting attention, and in this mood, I want no such thing. I know on these days I can be hard to deal with; no need to inflict that on anyone but myself. FN3. I need to purchase JoAnne Bassett's Night Queen, not because it isn't beautiful or glorious on me, but because I think I would find it equally silver-lining inspiring.

Another scent I find really comforting is Demeter Fragrance Library Salt Air, which has a harsh edge to it and isn't super low sillage, but doesn't necessarily smell perfumey, and therefore is unnoticed by everyone but me. There is something about being able to put my headphones on with the volume cranked and close my eyes and give my wrist a little sniff and pretend for a few minutes I am not trapped at work but instead barreling down the highway along the coast with the windows down that makes me feel a tiny bit better.

You know what else is comforting? Foodie scents. L'Artisan Bois Farine, aka the infamous "bread hologram" is really comforting and moderate to low sillage in smallish doses. Another scent that makes me feel better on a bad day is Olympic Orchids Carolina, which smells like banana bread and is similar to Washington Tremlett Royal Heroes 1805, but better smelling and better priced.

And last, but not least, I always feel it's best to smell like a cocktail when I really, really want one. To that end, I have the terrific Memoire Liquide Champagne et Mure #900 and Frapin 1270 EDP to make me feel boozy, but without the drunken rambling over-truthfulness I’m prone to in my tipsy moments.

What about you dear reader? What do you wear when you have a black day? Tell me below to enter a monthly mix drawing , this one my much overdue August 2011 draw. August 2011 Mix CD, which is a mix mostly of which what I was listening to in August, some new, some old, all awesome. Winner will also recieve a $15 gift certificate to their choice of Demeter Fragrance Library or The Perfumed Court, a few decants, and possibly a post card and other goodies.

Comment by Friday October 28, 2011 12:01AM PST to enter!

At least one more draw this week, so stay tuned.
_____________________
FN1. See video here for explanation.
FN2. Too close, you fool! I'm in the mood to ax-murder a body! NEVER GET THAT CLOSE IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES! I could snap your poor self in half with nothing more than my jaws of viciousness on such an occasion.
FN3. And my lovely and long-suffering husband, who gets the backwash of my bad moody days by virtue of living with me, sadly.

I get a little warm in my heart when I think of winter: Best of Winter 2009 & Drawing!

Inspired by I Smell Therefore I Am's list of Favorite Christmas Smells, I thought it was time I made my list of my top winter scents for 2009.

Winter is bearing down on us here in PDX. Saturday night we got our first ice over of the season, resulting -- campus events wise -- in David sliding five feet on his back, cars sliding off the road on the hill, a broken arm, and my friend Becca not being able to get back to her campus apartment from a late night in the lab because she kept sliding down the hill when she tried to walk up it! Being on a college campus at the top of a steep hill is always eventful when there's weather. Though, since I am no longer employed by a college or university, my role here is strictly spectator, even if David does have the duty phone from time to time.

So from the warmth of my apartment, with kittens all sleeping soundly, I bring you my list of winter/ holiday season favorites for 2009. My winter lists tend to be dominated by spice, sweet, and incense, which is reminiscent of my kind of winter holiday -- snow covered days spent next to fire places, spicy sweet roasted nuts, and trips to church for holy days. With that in mind, away we go!

1. Bond no. 9 New Haarlem
When it's cold, I like hot coffee with milk and sugar, and I like no coffee scent better than New Haarlem, and this one has vanilla and patchouli to boot! Every time I wear it I get tons of compliments. It's foodie but not too foodie, herbal but not too herbal, sweet but not too sweet. If you like coffee, I bet you'll love this.

For my review, which I wrote write at the beginning of this blog and really does not do this brilliant scent justice, go here.

2. CB I Hate Perfume Fire From Heaven
As I said in my review, this is such a potent smoke scent, one that to me speaks of sacred rituals and holy fires. A great scent, and one that is different enough from the generally lovely smoking smell of cold winter night spent in the warmth of wood burning fireplaces that it makes you stop and take notice.

For my full review, go here.

3. CB I Hate Perfume the Fir Tree
You might think that no one would want to smell like a fir tree, but let me tell you, you're gonna want to smell like this tree.

For my full review, go here.

4. Frapin Passion Boisee
When you think of all those spirits that help one get into the holiday spirit, and you are looking for a great holiday party or late night cocktails scent, this is the one.

For my full review, go here.

5. L'Artisan Dzing!
Possibly my favorite scent of all time. Summer, Spring, or Fall, I'll wear this one. But winter, ah, winter. I think practically every sweater I own has the faint smell of Dzing! If you are new to perfume and try this and think you don't like it, try again in six months. Trust me -- it's genius.

For my full review, go here.

6. Miller Harris Geranium Bourbon
Geranium Bourbon is another wonderful dry, boozy scent that would be great for the holidays.

For my full review, go here.

7. Tauer Perfumes L'Air du desert marocain
Hilariously, when I wrote the review I was thinking, "summer scent" but here I am in winter and I still want L'Air du desert marocain. It's possible that Andy Tauer just makes transcendent scents that go beyond time of day, event, season, or even gender. I feel this way about really all of the Tauer scents, but I love L'Air du desert marocain the best.

For my full review, go here.

8. INeKE Evening Edged in Gold
Again, here I am with the leathers and smoke, but there are plums here and gold tinsel and so many beautiful and fine things. All six of INeKE's scents are great -- definitely worth the $25 for a sample box. It's the perfect size for a stocking stuffer. Don't think, just order.

For my full review, go here.

9. Guerlain L’Heure Bleue
When I first reviewed this, one of the things I noted in the mixture was the smell of wet wool, like snow flakes melting on your coat or sweater after you come into a warm house after a winter walk.

For my full review, go here.

10. Lorenzo Villoresi Alamut
I have actually never reviewed Alamut, and I own a bottle! Ha! I'll have to get on that. I know that a lot of people were disappointed with Alamut, but I love it. It's big and warm and incense-y, and I deeply enjoy it, particularly in winter.

11. Bond no. 9 Andy Warhol Silver Factory
Possibly the best of all Bond scents, it's textured and multi-layered and beautiful. Woody, sweet, incense-y, awesomeness, with a great weirdness in the opening. Love it!

For my full review, go here.

12. DKNY Black Cashmere
One of the only bottles I've ever bought entirely unsniffed during the period when everyone thought it was being discontinued, Black Cashmere is a great spicy scent that has a weird rubbery leathered edge to it and yet somehow manages to simultaneously be a light fragrance. Donna Karan has since brought back Black Cashmere and Fuel and several other scents through the exclusive DK collection at Neiman Marcus, along with my beloved Fuel for Men, but I don't regret buying the bottle at all. This is yet another scent I need to review completely.

That's it for me. What about you? What scents do you associate with winter? In the spirit of the holidays, those who comment by 12:01am PST on Monday, December 21 will be entered in a random drawing for 1ml samples of Bond no. 9 New Haarlem, Lorenzo Villoresi Alamut, DKNY Black Cashmere, and L'Artisan Dzing!. Depending on my availability, prize package may also include a mix CD made by yours truly. Thanks in advanced for the commentary! The results will post on December 23, 2009.

"I run off where the drifts get deeper.
Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown.
I hear a voice.
'Your must learn to stand up for yourself
'cause I can't always be around.'
He says, "When you gonna make up your mind?
When you gonna love you as much as I do?"
"Winter," Tori Amos

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got...

Frapin 1270 EDP

I'm on record already about my love of booze in general and boozy scents in particular. One nice thing about moving back to Portland is that it is considered the Microbrew Capital of the World. This means that there is not just quality booze here, but also some of the best beer in the world. In a couple of weeks, several of our friends from California and Washington are coming into town for the annual Portland Holiday Ale Festival. Therein, some of the most lovely winter brews from all over the United States will be available, as well as the excellent offers of Mountain Meadows Mead, one of my personal favorites.

When I'm looking for fall weather appropriate scents for to wear to various holiday parties and ale events, I like to turn to Frapin. Frapin, makers of fine cognacs, also makes some fine boozy fragrances. 1270 EDP, a "fruity oriental" is described as being for "hedonistic ones," including

-travelers, seduced with exotic, warm and tasty scents
-sensuals, identifying themselves in this olfactive creation, voluptuous and unique
-thoughtful ones, who embrace the elegance, richness and mystery of an olfactive emotion, a moment, a loved one.

As Cognac has always been, this fragrance, suitable to both men and women, is complex and seducing with the use of fruity and floral accords : at first, a stunning candied orange note arouses. Then, the fragrance reveals accents of nuts and hazelnuts combined to raisins and prunes delicately envelopped by gourmand, balsamy and roasted aromas such as cocoa, tonka and coffee beans.

The heart notes convey a sublime harmony of vine flowers, the same ones as those from the floral FOLLE BLANCHE ; a grape variety now disappeared. The tonic accent of the everlasting flower gently mixes with the softness and elegance of linden, and delicatly melts into a spicy touch of pepper and sweet spices.

As for all great Cognacs, the fragrance reveals a perfect balance between the richness of precious woods, the sensuality of white honey and the sweet vanilla exotism.

Notes: exotic woods, spice, raisin, vine flowers, pepper, candied orange, nut, hazelnut, prune, cocoa, coffee, leather, woods, white honey, vanilla

1270 EDP is a very masculine scent, combining citrus, spices, wood, and incense. It's sweet and smoky, and has a hint of menthol bite to it. The second time I sampled it, I got a little bit more of the coffee and a bit of a vanilla tabacco-y thing going on than I had before, and it was a lot less medicinal. It reminds me of a very nice and cozy bar with high polished wood and shiny chrome bars, back lit shelves with top-shelf liqours, where everybody knows your name and even the worn parts hold memories and thus have a sweetness and charm.

For all of that, though, it's lighter than you'd expect, and with its moderate sillage, I think makes a lovely scent for a woman as well. I don't like it quite as much as Passion Boisee, but I think it's also very nice and worth owning.

You can purchase 1270 EDP from Luckyscent or Beautyhabit, and you can get samples from Luckyscent or The Perfumed Court.

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.
- "Where Everybody Knows Your Name (Theme from Cheers)," Gary Portnoy & Judy Hart Angelo

Want more? Try...
~ a review from For The Love of Perfume
~ a quick review from Nathan Branch
~ a review from Pink Manhattan
~ a review from Winterstorming: Perfume, Kimono and Tea

Images courtesy of Frapin and Cheers.

You're never gonna keep me down...

Frapin Passion Boisee

"[S]he sings a song that reminds [her] of the good times.
[S]he sings a song that reminds [her] of the better times..."

I hate liquor. And...

...I love liquor.

I do. After years of my husband offering up the most expensive and highest quality beers from around the world, I've found a few I enjoyed. While a budding knowledge of the wine certainly would have helped me with those painful networking events I stumbled my way through as a law student, I've never enjoyed anything more than a really sweet dessert one or two.

But liquor. Ah, sweet liquor. There is really nothing quite as fine as a well made liquor, and I'm not super picky. I like good quality vodka, rum, scotch, bourbon, brandy, you name it. (The only one I don't like, in fact, is gin.) My favorite is whiskey, so common to my childhood I was practically suckled on it, but I will enjoy just about any top-shelf liquor. My passion is for fine spirits is particularly problematic since I come from not one but two long lines of alcoholics, and I take after the side that allows one to drink and drink and drink and, while sleepy descends, I rarely if ever suffer the negative impacts of heavily imbibing. This is not what one might consider a recipe for moderate drinking.

So I have a drink occasionally when I'm out to dinner with someone, but rarely ever more than one. Living alone, I don't keep a single bottle of liquor in the house, or even wine or beer. In my lifetime, I have seen people I cared tango with liquor and lose their jobs, destroy large pieces of property, fairly seriously injure themselves physically, humiliate themselves -- and their loved ones -- publicly, run into serious legal trouble, and last, but certainly not least, simply drink and drink and drink...until they weren't alive anymore. This has made what one might refer to as a "lasting impression."

Thus, I have a tendency, quite frankly, to have a bipolar relationship with liquor.

Enter the boozy scents.

There are a number of scents that manage to approximate the delicious smell of fine liquor, which to some degree, is tied to the taste of liquor. And as these scents are unlikely to lead to any of the bad ends so many of my family and friends have met whilst dancing with the demon liquor, I get to love them completely without any risk to my soul, immortal or otherwise.

Today, I'm reviewing Frapin Passion Boisee, a deliciously boozy scent. Thanks to Robin at Now Smell This! for the description of Passion Boisee, as the website is in French and I, unfortunately, I don't read French.

Clean and elegant and dry, this is a fragrance suitable for hobnobbing in distinguished company; sinking into a leather club chair in front of a crackling fire and sipping a fine cognac while holding forth confidently on the matters of the day.

NOTES: Tangerine, nutmeg, rum, oak moss, clove, leather, patchouli, cedarwood

I think Passion Boisee is a seriously delicious scent. While I expect noting less from a Cognac maker, this is some seriously delicious stuff. It is smells simultaneously juicy and dry, the way that liquor sliding down your throat is both wet and fiery simultaneously. It’s a spicy and warm and delicious and delightful. On me I get this very nice mixture that reminds me a little of the way tobacco smells as it is harvested.

Passion Boisee is sophisticated, powerful, and seductive. It is the sort of scent a lovely woman in a little black dress wears as she slinks across a bar, turning heads, owning the room, and never, ever, ever, paying for her own drink.

You can purchase Passion Boisee from Luckyscent, Aedes, or Beautyhabit.

"[S]he drinks a whiskey drink.
[S]he drinks a vodka drink.
[S]he drinks a lager drink.
[S]he drinks a cider drink."
- "Tubthumping (I get knocked Down)," Chumbawamba

Want more reviews? Try...
~ A review of Perfume-Smellin' Things
~ A review from The Scented Salamander