Halloween Make-Up Fun!: The Sequel

My second costume and second make-up day this year was a quick costume I threw together to attend an evening event several days before Halloween. I needed something I could wear during the day because I did not have time to run home after work to change, something that was kid friendly, because this was a kid oriented event, and something that fit the theme of entertaining kids at a party.  Necessity being the mother of invention, I grabbed this glass globe I have from Ikea and declared myself a fortune teller.

Costume Number Two: Fortune Teller


This costume came about primarily based on a scarf I bought that features an awesome skull (right). As I was looking at it, it just seemed like the perfect thing to build a costume around.

I skipped the primer this time, and went straight to my normal base, MAKE UP FOR EVER Mat Velvet + Matifying Foundation in Ivory.  I didn't mind my undertones coming through here since I knew I was going for a dark pink and purple palette.


For my eye color, I turned to URBAN DECAY's Ammo Palette. I love Urban Decay. I used to think that all eye shadows were more or less created equal. Within the last year or two, though, thanks largely in part to my friend Thu, who has this great blog you should check out.  Part of the magic is definitely URBAN DECAY's Eyeshadow Primer Potion.  However, having tried other shadows with it a shadow primer, I have to say, it's more than that. Urban Decay shadows have great pigment and staying power. 

At this point, I have a couple of Urban Decay palettes, most of them relatively small.  I have a couple of Sephora palettes, some Wet & Wild palettes, and a few other items, but nothing beats those UD palettes. (I don't have the Vice or Naked Palettes, but I soooo want them.)  Anyway, between Grifter and Last Call over a URBAN DECAY's Naked Basics base of Walk of Shame and Faint made for a very nice eye.  

Once again, I busted out my KAT VON D Tattoo Liner in Trooper, which is really easy to do wings by the way. Then I layered with SEPHORA COLLECTION Glitter Eyeliner in Purple on top. I love the Sephora Glitter Eyeliners, and I am quite sad they appear to be discontinuing them. You have to give them a good solid 45 seconds with your eyes closed to let the liner dry so you don't get a weird crease line, but if you do it stays on all day. And I mean, alllllll day.

I finished off my eyes with BENEFIT COSMETICS They're Real! Mascara. As mascaras go, I like this one, but I also admit to not having tried all that many mascaras.  (I really want SEPHORA FAVORITES Lash Stash. I have for several years. Maybe I'll pull the trigger on it this year.)  I really like the wand that comes with They're Real!

For my blusher, I applied what has got to my be all time favorite bronzer, BENEFIT COSMETICS Duo Bronzer Ten. (Benefit has discontinued this particular bronzer because apparently they know I am in love and they hate me.) Then I added ORIGINS Brush-on Color in Mulberry.  I bought the Mulberry years ago on a bad recommendation from a sales assistant. It's really too dark for daily use but I find it comes in handy for dramatic looks like this one.

For the lip, BUXOM Full-On Lip Cream in Lavender Cosmo layered with SEPHORA COLLECTION Ultra Shine Lip Gloss in Shimmery Glowing Amethyst. I don't usually (or really ever) sport a lip in the plum family, but with the rest of the make-up, it really worked. I'm sort of excited it made the trend list this fall or I might never have tried it at all!

I also did my nails in Sephora OPI What a Broad, which has been discontinued in the wake the great Sephora/OPI split.  Sephora is now doing their own nail color line, Formula X, which I hope to god is better than their old Sephora line, which was some of the worst nail polish I ever used.  It was cheap, which was great, but it was so plastic that it literally peels away in one plastic sheet within an hour or two of putting it on.


In the end, everyone at work was, ummm, a little unclear I guess on whether I was in costume or just trying a new look.  I'm going to take this as a compliment to my make-up skills rather than an insult to my general fashion choices.  While the style was described variously as "gypsy vagrant" and "gyp-ster," I like to think that mostly means that my make-up, which I thought was quite dramatic, was something I could pull off on a normal day or evening out as long as my clothing was...less bohemian.

As for scents, I took a moment to consider what the inside of my fortune teller's den would smell like: incense smoke, herbals teas, lamp oil, and worn, aged paper.  In the end I settled on L'Artisan Tea for Two, which is both lovely and seasonally appropriate for Fall.

What about you, dear reader? Have you ever worn a costume only to find out that people couldn't actually tell you were in costume?

We'll Never Be Royals.

Internalized Criticism and My Perfume Collection

So one of the things I've been noticing lately is that I've been a little embarrassed about the way my perfume collection is settling out. I've stood in front of my perfume wardrobe, trying to decide what to write about, and I find a judgey little voice in my head criticizing my perfume choices. “Wow, you have a lot of this house, which isn't very well respected. Don't you think you should have more of that house instead?” I get dressed in the morning, and as I reach for something, this same voice slithers in. “Really? You're going to wear that, again? Isn't that a bit...pedestrian?”

Some days you'll only
accept the fanciest
of salads...

Yes, dear reader. I have a little perfume hater living inside me, and she is a critical little snipe who does not think my perfume collection is sophisticated enough, that I wear too many accessible and mainstream scents, and that I am not living up to my full perfumista potential. This same hater wants to know why I haven't gotten into collecting vintage scents more, why I haven't started studying French so I can really understand perfumery as an art and industry, and why I spent so much time running around the U.S. when I could just as easily be saving my pennies for a trip to Grasse.

Frankly, I'm kind of getting tired of the little hater. Sometimes I think she stands between me and my enjoyment of things I really like, no matter how widely accepted they are or how many supposed connoisseurs would turn up their perfectly trained noses at my collection. It's the same voice that makes me hide my affection for Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey from my coworkers, to hide my Twilight fascination from my roommates, and to feel a certain reticence about telling people I write Young Adult novels.

 Frankly, I like those things about myself. I enjoy and admire Taylor Swift as a song writer, even if she is young and her work, right now, reflects that. I think Lana Del Rey has talent despite a bad early album. FN1. I find the entire Twilight fandom interesting and entertaining and I love YA literature. I love writing YA. I want nothing more than to be published. And I'm tired of feeling judged by others and worse, prejudged by some internalized version of them, for not being cool enough. You know what? I'm not cool. I have never been cool. And in terms of perfume, I just need to accept that I'm probably not going to be cool there, either. And that's just going to have to be okay with me.

...but most days you just want
carbs with nutella and
 bananas smeared on them.

This week I had a wonderful moment of olfactory delight when several people told me I smelled good. I spend a lot of time thinking about the way I smell and how I want to present myself from a scent perspective, so it's nice when people notice. Part of the winning combination this week is the addition of a new layer in my olfactory repertoire.

A few weeks ago, I broke down and bought myself two of the Jo Malone bath oils. I like them because, when mixed with water, the oils turn milky and don't leave a greasy sheen on the skin. I bought them in the two scents I tend to layer the most among the Jo Malone collection – Red Roses and Orange Blossom. My reasoning was that if these scents were layered underneath my perfume, even faintly, that it would be a nice combining experiment, and if I did not want to mix them, I could just skip the bath oil.

Three different people at work stopped me to tell me how good I smelled the day I layered Red Roses bath oil with a healthy dose of DSH Perfumes Hemlock. The result was strangely earthy and green, and yet also fresh, floral, and feminine. It walked the line between Red Roses primness and Hemlock's less traditionally feminine aspects. One of my coworkers, smiled, asked me if I was wearing something with roses in it, and then went on to tell me how his very first girlfriend had a rose body wash or scent and how he always associated the smell with first love. I love that. I love that he told me the story and I loved the slightly goofy grin he got on his face at the memory.

The truth is, I am a pretty simple person, scent wise. I have always loved the smell of roses. I am a sucker for a good vanilla. I generally enjoy sweet, foodie scents. Tobacco notes always remind me of my grandfather which I cannot get enough of, and I have a disproportionately high number of “beach-y” scents because I love the ocean so much that sometimes it's pull is like a siren's call I can't deny. In other words, I like a lot of scents traditionally marketed for women. I don't yearn for the difficult scents. I enjoy smelling them occasionally, and I appreciate their beauty, but honestly? I wear a lot of Jo Malone. I own a huge amount of L'Artisan, a disproportional amount really. I am very into ultra-realism, so I love CB I Hate Perfume and I have a scary amount of Demeter Fragrances which are an impulse shopping habit of mine. I am not embarrassed to own Stetson for Men, which I like wearing. I have favorite indie perfumes, and I tend to stick with them because I like what they do.

Someday, maybe I'll like Guerlain Mitsouko enough to own it. I do think it's a gorgeous scent. It took me a long time to like it, and then to love it.  And I do.  It's a difficult but beautiful scent.  I just can't imagine reaching for it often enough to justify buying it. But life is long. Perhaps my Mitsouko days are still ahead of me. And if they aren't? I still smell pretty damned good, even if my tastes aren't as sophisticated as other perfumistas.

And that little voice in my head? Well, it can kiss my massive bottle collection.

And we'll never be royals.
It don't run in our blood.
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz.
Let me be your ruler.
You can call me queen bee.
And baby I'll rule.
I'll rule. I'll rule. I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.
~ “Royals,” Lorde
________

FN1. It's not like she's the first artist to have a bad early EP/album while she was figuring out her musical and personal identity. Y Can't Tori Read was no winner, and I'll never stop loving Tori Amos.

You can't deny me my kingdom.

Elizabethtown is one of my favorite movies. Despite being critically panned and a box office flop, I still think it is a beautiful, thoughtful, highly underrated film. Some of my life philosophy has come directly from that movie, to wit:

Claire: “Trust me. Everybody is less mysterious than they think they are.”

Hollie: “It takes time to be funny. It takes time to extract joy from life.”

Claire: “Do you ever just think, 'I'm fooling everybody'?”
Drew: “You have no idea.”

Claire: “So you failed.[...] You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling.”

One of the things that gets discussed in Elizabethtown is the idea of unlucky clothes. Claire has unlucky clothes, a particular little black dress. “Good things have not happened to me in this dress,” she tells Drew.

I don't have unlucky clothes, or unlucky perfume, per se, but I do have a perfume that I associate with endings. For my law school graduation, I saved up and purchased the most expensive bottle of perfume I own as a graduation present for myself. It was a bottle of limited edition L'Artisan Iris Pallida 2007. When I originally reviewed it, I said the scent gave me a visceral response like the feeling of a sob, caught at the back of my throat. It was so sad and beautiful that it literally brought me to tears. It still does.

For most people, I suspect the idea of paying three hundred dollars for a bottle of sadness seems absurd. Why not by a happy, upbeat scent? Why spend so much money for the scent that captures the inexpressible sound that rings out inside when someone breaks your heart?

As I am frequently reminded, however, I am not most people.

One of the ways I am not most people is that I don't have what one would consider a traditional family structure. My family of origin is very small now and consists almost exclusively of my brother and his sons, who live very far away. David and I don't have a family of creation beyond the two of us and our moody pride of cats. For a girl who grew up in and misses having a big southern family, this might have resulted in a very lonely, socially limited, and withdrawn life.

But I got lucky because I had a wonderful therapist in my mid-twenties who taught me that family can be more than just the people whom you share blood with or the partner you marry. Family of origin and family of creation matter, to be sure, but there's also a family of choice. These are the people that we choose to build a life with even when it isn't warranted by genetic material or legal obligation. They are the people we choose to love and to build our lives around. Some people call them best friends; some people will know them as that “aunt” or “uncle” who isn't really related.

To me, they're my family. We spend Thanksgivings and Christmases and Fourth of Julys together. When we vacation, it is often to see one another. We call each other first with news, good and bad. We help each other move. We loan each other money. We hold each other when we cry. We are each other's emergency contacts. We say things like, “I miss you,” and “I love you,” and “I wish you were here.”

By any real standards, we are a family.

I am very lucky to have what I consider a decently large family of choice. Most of us met in college and know each other. Occasionally, we embrace an outsider; occasionally, someone marries in. But this is how it works: those we love are welcomed by the rest of us, usually under my roof or through my arraignment because I tend to play matriarch to our little wayward group. Every single person in this family knows that they can show up here and have a home, no questions asked. If home is the place where they always have to take you, then this house is a home to far more than the four people who currently reside here.

As we get older, and our collective ties get deeper, it gets harder to join, I think. Not intentionally, of course. We will happily bring in the enthusiastic newcomer and embrace them. But I find fewer people, as I go along, who just get it. In my experience, there are always plenty of people who seem flattered by the attention and seem to want to accept a place in this motley crew of mine, but often they don't really understand what it means. Being part of this means making a strange kind of commitment, if not to the group, then at least to either David or to me. This willingness to make you a member of our tribe is something we have always shared, and one of the things that makes us a strong couple. As I said when we got married, “His people will be my people.” I am fortunate that I married someone who shares the reciprocal sentiment.

Though I do not have children, and may never do so, I have a sense that my life will, nonetheless, be filled with children as I grow older. Much as I am everyone's big sister, counselor, confessor, cheerleader, and best friend, I hope to also be a strange, effusive, generous aunt to these babies-to-be. And when I think about how full my life is of people who love, support, believe in, and respect me, I feel, on the whole, deeply fortunate.

So what does this have to do with Iris Pallida, or perfume, or Elizabethtown?

On Monday, when I rose from my bed, I got dressed. Then I stood in front of my perfume cabinet, trying to decide what to wear, and found myself reaching for Iris Pallida. For me, Iris Pallida is the scent of deep, exquisite pain, the haunting melancholy of loss, and the smell of endings.

You see, I knew it was going to be a bad day. I knew that someone I'd thought was going to be a long term, close friend of the sort that eventually becomes a person I consider family was going to walk away. Through little to no fault of my own, that relationship was necessarily going to end, and there was nothing I could do about it.


Was I angry? Yes. Hurt? Sure, that, too. Self-righteous? Maybe a tiny bit. But mostly, I have just spent this whole week feeling terribly, terribly sad. I grieve because I have this nasty habit of letting people dig deep into me, and even though we may not speak for months or years, I go right on loving them. I go on thinking of them, wishing the best for them and for their lives. I wish that for these people whether or not we ever speak again, because when you care for someone, you want them to be happy.

I've been told on occasion that this willingness to love too much, to expect too much, to give too much, to want too much, is a failing. It makes me difficult. It takes up space; it can suffocate. It's something I need to work to correct, so I can fit more within the socially accepted, distantly polite norms that rule most people's lives.

I choose to ignore this socially 'appropriate' course correction. I know that this makes me a somewhat polarizing person. I'm not easy to get along with. I have high expectations, most of all for myself. I am honest, sometimes to a fault. I am free with myself and the details of my life in ways that can seem overwhelming. People tend to either really like me or be really put off by me. For better or for worst, I don't find a lot of people who express their opinions of me in lukewarm terms.

I'm sure I could do as bidden. I could live a smaller life. I could be shrink back instead of looming. But I worry that the thing that drives me to feel joy is the same thing that breeds my occasional sorrow, and living life in a box so that other people are more comfortable would crush the spark in me that can create whole worlds from the fabric of my own imagination. It is the same part that finds the exquisite beauty in a well-made perfume, or that cries over a well-crafted, heart stirring essay like those in Alyssa Harrad's Coming to My Senses because I see in this would-be stranger a part of myself, and led to a wonderful phone call that I hope is a sign of future friendship to come.

When I tried to name it recently, I came up short.

“Passion,” someone supplied.

“Yes,” I immediately answered.

I could suppress this impulse that drives me, but I don't think I'd like my life much without it. And, to quote another Cameron Crowe movie, Vanilla Sky, “You can do whatever you want with your life, but one day you'll know what love truly is. It's the sour and the sweet. And I know sour, which allows me to appreciate the sweet.” So when I looked upon the vacant waste that was once a fruitful beginning, I did what I do: I leaned into it. I wore my expensive, painful perfume. I cut my hair, watching little pieces of me fall and be swept away. I drank, and I cried, and I laughed.

And then I let go.

But there will never be a day that I won't occasionally be stopped by the joke unshared, the laughter unheard, the love unfelt, that beats on beneath my breast despite its absence.

And this will always be a home to those who once chose to seek it.

"What's this?
Camaraderie of country that turns,
before me, salty
rust on fragile parts.
All this--
All you have inspired,
the crew and ship of empire,
rig and mast and spars,
box of stripes and stars...

I am aching.*
You can't deny me my kingdom.

You.
Sailor on the lonely sea,
will you turn and promise me
you'll always be alive?"

~ "You, Sailor," Erin McKeown

________
* I originally misheard this lyrics as "I am aching." It may actually be, "I am a king."  I like my way better.

Take me out to the black, tell them I ain't coming back...

I recently switched cell phone providers to an Android phone, and uploaded a bunch of music to Google Music to try it out. It turns out that I forgot I had a bunch of audio clips from TV shows and movies I love on my hard drive, because I will occasionally build a mix CD off some other medium -- a piece of visual artwork, but more frequently a quote from a poem or book or film or show -- and I like to use the audio clip to open or close the mix CD. FN1. So now occasionally I get these clips mixed in with my music, which is surprisingly delightful, particularly when the following song seems to pair with the quote.

I aim to misbehave.

One of the quotes I keep running into is this from one Malcolm Reynolds, captain of the firefly-class space ship Serenity: "The darkness. Kind of darkness you can't even imagine. Blacker than the space it moves through."
So imagine that you are me, mindlessly drafting away on legal documents, listening to music, and then these words pop into your head. What perfume do you instantly think of?
For me, it's obvious: Bvlgari Black.
Created in 1998 by Annick Menardo, Bvlgari Black is described on the Bvlgari website as follows:

Black is unconventional, a fragrance conceived around the smoky, woody notes of Lapsang Souchong tea, that celebrates the pleasure and freedom of expression. A fusion of cool, stripped-down design in high-tech matte rubber with a chrome cap and transparent glass.


Notes are black tea, rosewood, bergamot, cedar, oakmoss, vanilla, amber, sandalwood, and musk.

What can I say? Black is  a multitude of wonderful smells, and yet, difficult to describe. Its immediately evocative of hard vanilla candies, incense smoke, hot rubber, the smell when you pull cold water rushing over stones into a cup in your hands and bring it to your lips, the smell of the inside of your boyfriend's leather coat when you are held with it wrapped around your whole body. 

But that's just me.  Other people get "celery salt and rubber" and "pale green;" "dark vintage cashmere allure;"  "urban cool;" and a tie for my favorites: "biker eating an ice cream cone" and "most likely work best on attractive young yuppies or hipsters of either gender." It's somehow everything, and nothing, and appears to change a lot, based on the person wearing it. Not unlike looking out into the Black, I suppose.

Do I like Black? Of course I do.  It's sweetly strange, delightfully sexy, and weirdly delicious.  I can't decide if I want to taste it on my lips when I kiss someone's neck or spray it on a riding crop or spray it on my scarf on a cold morning.  Perusing reviews, it seems the real test of Black, though, is how it holds up next to one of my all-time favorites, the equally avant-garde L'Artisan Dzing!

Ah, the infamous hockey puck!

Trying them side by side, Dzing! and Black seem like cousins. Okay, perhaps less cousins, and more like.... You know how, when you see someone from the back or the side or at a weird angle and you are110% sure that it is someone you know and it is not until you actually walk up to them and say something that you realize they are a complete stranger and you have made a complete fool of yourself? That's what mistaking Dzing! and Black is like.  You are sure they look alike, but when you really pay attention, you realize they are nothing alike. FN2.

 I never thought there'd be two of them, and there aren't really.  Black is sweeter, smoother, and less aggressive or muscular than Dzing! Dzing! is heavier on the rubber and salt on me, while Black is heavier on the amber and sandalwood end of things. I like them both, and I think my preference for one over the other would probably hinge on my mood, or the weather, or the day, or my destination, unlike the great LT, who put Black in the top 10 fragrances of all time. FN3. Me? I think I might be more of a Dzing! girl, but I'm biased. After all, I've lived with and loved Dzing! for years now.  That said, at the low price point one can acquire a bottle of Black, I say, why not have both? I found a 100ml bottle on Amazon for $35 of all places!

Black is marketed unisex, and that's a good thing, because it is a lovely scent that could work great on anyone.  And at the low, low price of practically next to nothing, I command you to get thee to a Sephora to try it, and don't be dissuaded if they happen to have stuck it on the 'men's' perfume wall. 

 Want more? Try:
~ a review from Robin at Now Smell This!
~ a review from I Smell Therefore I Am
~ a review from Muse in Wooden Shoes
~ a review from Bois de Jasmin
~ a review from + Q Perfume Blog
~ a review from ChickenFreak's Obsessions
~ a review from All I Am - A Redhead
~ a review from Pere De Pierre
~ a review from Nathan Branch
~ a review from Scent of the Day
~ a review from Scentsate
___________
FN1. Yes, I love the mix tape, for lo, I am a child of the 1980s, and I *still* have tapes x-boyfriends made me twenty years ago, even though I have nothing to play them on, because I think they are some of the most personal gifts I ever received.


FN2. Or, Oh! You know that tumblr of Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber? It's like that! Like mistaking one of those lesbians from a distance for the real Bieber! (BTW, I have an IRL friend who was actually featured on the site.) (It's even Bieber approved (See video clip below.))

FN3. LT = Luca Turin, author of Perfumes: The Guide, and other fancy perfume accomplishments.  If you don't know, google it.

Too Much Love Will Kill You.

Is there such a thing as “too much of a good thing”?

Sure there is. I myself have eaten that last sushi roll or that last inch of sour patch rope, and thought, “I chose…poorly.” I’ve decided to stay in bed those last few minutes that move you from “barely on time” to “definitely late for work.” I’ve stayed in the shower those extra ten minutes, running the hot water just enough that you run out at the last minute and are freezing and tense instead of relaxed when you cut the water off and get out. I’ve taken on too many good opportunities at once until I didn’t have the time and energy for any of them. I’ve gone for that final third round on Space Mountain that moves your slightly tipsy disco ball delight to oh-lord-why-did-I-have-that-fourth-tequila-shot?

In short, I’ve done excess and known the regret of it. And that is what I think of, every time I see someone posting about “pairing down their collection” or “giving up all but their favorites” or “cleaning out their perfume cabinet.”

Have I got too much perfume? Have I gone too far? Do I really appreciate the perfume I have? Do I really want or need more? FN1. Would some of it be better off in someone else’s hands, someone else’s home, where it might be better appreciated? That is the sentiment that stayed my hand Saturday night when I looked at my bank account, looked at my computer, and then thought, “Okay, let’s go shopping!” As I began looking through my options – limited editions here, sales over there, decants verses bottles, samples verses either, the list of things I thought I wanted, the list of things I’ve got – I was haunted by the thought that maybe I had enough already.

Tonight in the car Rafaela, who has never been subjected to a stroll through Diana’s perfume collection, asked me how many bottles I had. I don’t know, I responded immediately. But you must have some idea, she pressed. You were just telling me that you redid your inventory spreadsheet today.

Truthfully, though, I didn’t know. I hadn’t bothered to look. Hell, I hadn’t even finished updating my excel file. I’d only made it through bottles, not decants or minis, and certainly not through samples, which remains untackled. Somewhere, somehow, I genuinely lost count of my perfume.

So tonight, I counted.

85 bottles. EIGHTY-FIVE. And this is genuine “this is not our sample size, you are buying some larger quantity of this perfume” bottles, which does not even include Demeters. Minis and decants? Another seventy-four. Samples? Back in September it was over 500, and I know that number is a measurable quantity larger now, but my recatalogue is not yet complete. This doesn’t count the two bottles or handful of samples I did finally order Saturday night, or the samples headed my way for review, or the bottle I gave away to LillieMae just because she liked it and I had more than enough. FN2.

Yet, I feel like I’ve only dipped a toe into the wide world of beautiful perfumes out there to smell. For example, I haven’t ever smelled Chanel No. 19. I think I’ve tried maybe three Le Labos, and none of them were the location restricted ones. My familiarity with Creed and Serge Lutens is (in my opinion) wafer thin. For every Caron or Goutal or Worth or Guerlain I have tried, there are four or five I haven’t. I haven’t tried nearly enough from Aftelier Perfumes or Frederic Malle or so many others I can’t think of right now.

But looking at my collection, I couldn’t deny it. I have a ton of perfume, and yet, I feel I owe it to myself to keep trying all the beautiful scents out there to try. But I knew I crossed a certain perfumey line when LillieMae was loving a particular perfume and, without hesitating, I gave her the bottle. I remembered the day Angela from Now Smell This! did the same things for me, handing off a bottle of S-Perfume %100 Love without batting an eyelash. She knew I’d get more out of it, and I did. I have almost finished the bottle. So maybe this is also the beginning of a new phase, a phase where I not only continue to explore perfume, but start to focus my collection, creating something that isn’t just a bunch of random perfume, but a beautiful wardrobe and art collection, so that I better appreciate what I have and some lovely perfume gets a more appreciative home.

So welcome to our season of spring discernment at Feminine Things, both perfume related and more broadly. I feel strangely excited about it. I hope you do, too.

___________________________
FN1. Okay, I always want more. Instead it’s a question of whether I should buy more and do I already have more than I know what to do with.

FN2. Because I know you people: I bought samples from DSH Perfumes and JoAnne Bassett. I would have bought some from Ayala Moriel Natural Perfumes but the site order system wasn’t cooperating; I bought a bottle of L’Artisan Dzongkha from the sale; and slumberhouse Mur from IndieScents because I am apparently probably their biggest fan, and I bought it in anticipation of warmer days ahead.

Editor's note: I got the loveliest follow-up email from Ayala herself, apologizing about the web difficulties and welcoming me back.  Not only was it the sweetest thing, it also completely underestimated my willingness to walk through fire for perfume as good as hers. :)

2012 New Years Thoughts

Normally at the end of the year, I do a lot of navel-gazing internal self-reflection. This year, I'm going to take some advice from my favorite fictional deejay, Debi Newbury: "Hey, I know everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives. You know what I say? Leave your livestock alone."

So instead, I'm going to tell you about all the things I'm already looking forward to enjoying in the new year.

New Perfumes
Though I admit that my last perfume purchase of 2011 will be from the L'Artisan sale, this year I discovered a lot of new perfumers and I am looking forward to trying more offerings from them this next coming year. Crowding the front of my collection these days are scents from slumberhouse, DSH Perfumes, and Olympic Orchids, all of which I hope to explore more deeply as they create new glories in 2012. I'm also hoping to delve more deeply into offerings from Serge Lutens, The Difference Company, Le Labo, Mandy Aftel's Aftelier Perfumes, and JoAnne Bassett Perfumes. Plus, all the things I don't even know I'm missing!

New Music
You know what I'm going to be spinning into the new year? Top of the list is Florence + the Machine's new album Ceremonials. I am already in love with the first single, "Shake It Out." I predict the following will also continue in heavy rotation: Neko Case (all the albums!), The Watson Twins, Feist's album The Reminder, The Naked and the Famous' album Passive Me, Aggressive You, Mumford & Sons and The National. That will probably get me through, I don't know, January 15th? <grin> (If you think I'm obsessed with perfume, you should see my music collection.)

New Books
So many books coming out this year to look forward to! Cynthia Hand's sequel to Unearthly, Hallowed releases in January, along with Lauren Kate's Fallen in Love: A Fallen Novel in Stories. The last book of the Fallen series will also be out this year. Also, and this is the one I'm most excited for, Josephine Angelini's sequel to Starcrossed, Dreamless, which is slated for May 2012.

I recently read and loved Marni Bates newly released novel Awkward. The book is a terrific YA novel, particularly for those who are so over the supernatural/scifi/fantasy trend. (Not me, necessarily, but I know plenty of people who are.)

I just finished Leigh Fallon's terrific Carrier of the Mark and hoping for more in that series. (Update: I confirmed with the author herself via Twitter that a sequel will release in 2012!) I read Ally Condie's excellent best-seller Matched, so now I need to get my hands on a copy of the sequel, Crossed. I also want to read Beth Revis' Across the Universe (finally!) and Jennifer Lynn Barnes' Every Other Day, plus I need to finish Laini Taylor's Daughter of Smoke and Bone and read Stacey Jay's Juliette Immortal, which is sitting on my shelf, calling to me.

New Television
Okay, yes, it's mostly the return of shows I watch, but these are the shows I'm missing most right now. Vampire Diaries comes back next week (not soon enough!); haters can hate all they want, but I love Hart of Dixie, and will be sad when it inevitably gets canceled in May; I can never get enough Braverman drama on Parenthood; Once Upon a Time and Grimm are filling a fairy tale television hole I didn't know existed in my schedule; Two Broke Girls is my fav new sitcom of the season; How I Met Your Mother needs to show me a mother, already!; Eureka will return for its criminally short and undeserved final episodes; and I am already anticipating summer returns from Haven and Psych.

Also, super psyched for the new mini-movies in the BBC's Sherlock series. Also, Christmas Dr. Who wasn't enough for me -- the Doctor cannot return soon enough.

New Adventures
I can already tell you 2012 is going to be a year of bittersweetness. In July, David and I will finally be leaving Lewis & Clark, his employer and the home of both my degrees. We've spent a collective 22 years working, living, and learning here. That means a new house for us both and a new school for David as he enters law school.

Where? We don't know yet. If could be a lot of places: here at Lewis & Clark (which still means moving, because he's leaving his job either way), other places in Oregon, or somewhere much further. The list of possibilities includes: Washington D.C.; Madison, Wisconsin; Seattle, Washington; Palo Alto, California; and Williamsburg, Virginia. If I were a betting woman, I'd put money down on remaining in Portland, with side bets on Palo Alto or Williamsburg, with Seattle as a long shot. That means moving, potentially, to the other side of the country!

It's strange to think of moving because we are happy in Portland, but I'm excited for a new adventure. Moving would also mean a new job for me, so that is a whole other thing to worry about when/if the time comes.

Speaking of developments in my work life, did I mention here that I am now a member of the Board of Bitch Media, publishers of the wonderful Bitch Magazine and the Bitch blog? It's an amazing publication that has been helping me clarify my feminist views and strengthen what I call my "third eye" (i.e. my analytical lens) for over a decade. I'm extremely proud to be a part of its endeavors. If you've never checked out the blog, you should do it now, and if you already love Bitch, now is a great time to consider a subscription, now available in digital format for easy reading on your various and sundry electronic devices.

In other news, my second draft of my first novel is out to my readers. After one more round of edits in January, I hope to kick my search for an agent into high gear in February. I am also approximately a third of the way through this novel's sequel and should finish a very rough first draft of a novel beginning a separate trilogy sometime in January as well. It's strange to think that when I began 2011, I'd never written an entire novel. Now I cannot imagine ever stopping.

So that's it for me, for us, for the collective Rosengardian "we" -- girlgeek, boygeek, and kittehs of various sizes, colors, and temperaments. I hope you are all looking forward to tomorrow as much as I am.

I got this great holiday card from my friend Sarah a couple of days ago that said: "For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice." It's a quote from one of my top five all time favorite poets, T.S. Eliot.

So let's all go find our new voice, shall we?

Happy New Year.

Love,
Diana

"Kick back and relax, and ponder this: Where are all the good men dead - in the heart or in the head? 


Now here's a cold cup of coffee from The Clash."

For the Love of Perfume: A Reflection on Favorite Perfumes

Love, Infatuation, and Perfume, Part 4

My favorite scents, and thoughts on who they might make good gifts for.

L’Artisan Iris Pallida LE 2007. Everybody’s got an iris. This one is mine. I once described it as smelling the feeling of having a sob caught in one’s throat, as hearing the sound of Roy Orbison’s "Crying" sung in a heart-wrenching Italian. It moves me to tears, the opposite of DSH Sweet Honey because it plucks my heartstrings in a way I find unavoidable. Easily the most expensive perfume I’ve purchased (it was my law school graduation present to myself) and I never regret it, though I do keep metally chastising myself for not wearing it more. I keep leaving it in the beauitful wooden box, forgetting that perfume is made to be worn. This week I promised myself to whip out that exquisite tragedy and spray it on, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Maybe this weekend. I'd say that meant it wasn't a favorite, but I know that's not true, because every time I smell it, there's magic all over again.

Price: $$$.
Recommended for: the hipster, the coffee lover.

Worth Je Reviens. I like Worth perfumes for so many reasons, not the least of which being that the house was founded by a man who eschewed his family's traditional vocation of calling -- lawyering. Je Reviens is, in my opinion, the best scent gem hiding in the roughs of your local drug store, bar none. Yeah, that's right. I said it. Bar none. You want to walk into the drug store and for less than $20 buy a scent that is, to this day, unique and wonderful and well-made? You cannot go wrong with Je Reviens. The scent itself is hard to describe, because it's a little bit sweet and a little bit floral and a little bit salty, and yet comes together in a terrific mingling.


Price: $.
Recommended for: the eclectic friend; the lover of an excellent bargain.

By Kilian Back to Black. I truly love many tobacco scents, but I admit to loving this one the best.  I tried not to.  It's so expensive.  But i keep coming back to that tiny sprayer.  Not overly sweet, delicately spicy, lucious and warm, Back to Black is wonderful and sexy and reminds me of the slightly bitter yet undeniably passionate Amy Winehouse song of the same name.

"We only said goodbye with words. I died a hundred times. You go back to her, and I go back to...." I can easily imagine loathing this scent after loving someone who wore it. It is so beautifully elegant. I want not to love it.  I want not to love the entire line.  I want to side with all the other perfume bloggers who are like, "Yeah! By Kilian is not poorly made and way overpriced!" But I can't. I like a lot of the scents, and this one in particular.  So I will pony up the immense cost because, frankly, it's beautiful and I want it.

Price: $$$$.
Recommended for: The humidor collector, the person who loves a warm, snuggly sweater.

Part 1   ~    Part 2   ~    Part 3   ~   Part 4   ~   Part 5

_______________________________________

$ - $1-$75.

$$ - $76-$130.

$$$ - $131-$200.

$$$$ - $200-$300.

$$$$$ - $300+.

For the Love of Perfume: A Reflection on Favorite Perfumes

Love, Infatuation, and Perfume, Part 3

My favorite scents, and thoughts on who they might make good gifts for.

L'Artisan Vanilia. Every time I sniff Vanilia, I can't believe it got discontinued. I love vanillas and I am always game to try new ones, but this one remains one of my singular favorites. It's so unusually green and sappy, not foodie sweet or liquored like vanilla extract. It has a lovely structure and drydown. I managed to grab a bottle after the discontinue about two months ago for a reasonable price, but I had to hunt for it. I recommend getting your hands on some while it can still be found.

Price: $$-$$$$, depending on size and deal you find. My almost full bottle after d/c was still only $$.
Recommended for: the quirky vanilla fiend, the collector.

Demeter Perfumes Salt Air. I know, it's a $6 bottle of perfume. So why can't I quit putting it on? I'll be the first person to admit that Demeter scents have a tendency to run the gamut from too-on-the-nose to trying-so-hard-they-are-harsh, but this one is right on the money for me. If you asked me to name the best thing I own for less than $10, this would win. Even if we ratcheted the amount to $20, which would include things like Coty Sand & Sable and Worth Je Reviens, this might still win. It's completely neutral and smells like the smell that hits me every time I get close enough to the ocean to feel my constant yearning to return to the sea unclench. I'd pay a whole lot more than $6 for that experience, but I'm really glad I don't have to.

Price: $.
Recommended for: the beach lover, the eclectic DIY fashionista who will enjoy the low price and unusual scent.

Bond No. 9 New Haarlem. My first Bond love still remains the strongest. There's something about the blend of coffee, patchouli, and vanilla that can't go wrong, and not because I live in Portlandia, where the air is virtually suffuse with those scents. The combination works effortlessly, and not only do I deeply enjoy smelling it throughout the day, but I get tons of compliments on it. Yes, it's on the sweet and foodie end, but if you can deal with that (or like me, love it) then you can't go wrong with this one.

Price: $$$.
Recommended for: the hipster, the coffee lover.

Part 1   ~    Part 2   ~    Part 3   ~   Part 4   ~   Part 5

_______________________________________

$ - $1-$75.

$$ - $76-$130.

$$$ - $131-$200.

$$$$ - $200-$300.

$$$$$ - $300+.

The Reeking Stench of Bitterness (aka Scents for When I am All Bad Moody)

Get that AWAY FROM ME!

There are some days when I wake up, get dressed, trundle over to my perfume cabinet and shudder in horror at the thought of wearing some of my truly beloved scents.

Why?

I overslept, my hair is wet, I don't have a stitch of make-up on, and my general attitude is that the world at large should just be glad I got out of bed and participated today. In other words, I am feeling, if you'll pardon the expression, like hammered shit, and there is no way I feel bold and sassy enough for a dose of Tauer Perfumes Une Rose Chypre, or beautiful enough for my tiny vial of Robert Piguet Fracas parfum, or thin enough for a hit of vintage Caron Tabac Blond, or sexy enough for my roller of DSH Perfumes Erotica.

Everything I pick up is like that quote from High Fidelity: "The thing I really learned from the Charlie Debacle is that you gotta punch your weight. Charlie was out of my class: too pretty, too smart, too witty, too much." There are days when a lot of my favorite scents are, quite frankly, too pretty, too bold, too sexy, too classy -- too much. I can't face them. I want to go back to bed and only strength of will and a desire not to get canned in the worst economy in a century make me do otherwise.

On these days, it can be very hard to find a fragrance and you definitely do not want to be testing anything, because the anxiety of trying something beautiful in an awful mood and hating it is deeply depressing in its own right. To that end, here are some thoughts on scenting your way through the dark down days.

~ Don't be afraid to be a coward. ~

A lot of people will tell you try new scents, look for inspiration, challenge yourself to rise above it and find the invigorating meat of life that will help you turn your mood around. To these folks I say, SHUT IT. In the immortal words of Winona Ryder in Heathers, "If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a person. You'd be a game show host." You're not doing yourself or any hard working perfumer a favor if the stream of cursing running through your mind as you spritz on a new scent is filth of the order most frequently uttered by eight-year-old boys who have just acquired a naughty vocab and are out of their parents' earshot. Run, don't walk, from challenging material. Be a coward today; it's cool. We all do it sometimes.

In bad moods people tend to: eat their favorite foods, wear their snuggly pajamas, watch their favorite movies. We seek, in a word, comfort. The unknown is not comforting. Because I'm not talking about ennui here; that's a different problem. FN1. I'm talking about a black mood, Sally, and not one born of the cumulative circumstances in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, which might be overcome by a good ending a beautiful scent might provide because you're open to such a possibility. I'm talking about waking up on the wrong side of the bed and knowing the day will suck because you are in the mood to refuse any argument to the contrary.

On such a day, wear something you have absolutely no complaint about. If you have always and will ever after, Amen, loved Guerlain Shalimar or can’t get enough of Channel No. 5 EDT, bust that baby out. If you're ready to bite the heads off everyone, don't let a challenging scent get in the way.

This is my FIGHT FACE!

~ Wear a scent you already unconditionally love even if it is common, bad, or otherwise embarrassing. ~ 

Yes! Embrace the known, the overworn, the possibly common and mundane. If you have a big bottle of Estee Lauder White Linen or Ceasar Woman lurking in the back of the closet because you like them and don't care if other people think they are overworn or smell cheap or just all around suck in general, bring it out into the light. Have a brief, torrid, public love affair with banality! Love your bottle of GAP So Pink! with all your heart. You were already in the mood to tell the world “Screw You!” for the sake of it; you might as well wear a scent that might give you the opportunity.

~ Wear a scent that others find boring. ~

Yep. You've all got one. I know you do. You've got a scent you love but other people think smells like a dryer sheet, or you think smells like winter and noses in the knowes think of as white noise. Normally your friends notice and comment on the olfactory beauty in your wake, or hug you and say, "You smell wonderful, (sigh) as always," and then grill you on your recent scent choices. Perhaps on another day you might not want to admit that next to that $300 bottle of LE L'Artisan lurks a bottle of Paris Hilton Fairy Dust, but I say now is the hour of your reckoning! Get down with that reject scent; you're already feeling rejected and full of bile. Spray it all over and then if someone frowns at you, wave your arms wildly, spreading your averageness around like an obscuring cloud of scent underachievement.

~ Wear a scent that flies a little under the radar. ~

I have some very lovely scents that wear close to the skin and, unless you actually get closer than eight inches to me, you would never know they were there. FN2. These are the scents I am most likely to turn to when my mood is more rotten than a crab apple full of worms. Not because there is anything shameful or embarrassing or boring or wrong with them. Simply because the only statement I am hoping to make today is one to myself, a small reminder that despite the general bitterness eating at me these long hours, tomorrow will be better.

Must remember:
Not a workplace
appropriate response!

In these moods, I really like green scents. I like to use DSH Perfumes Hemlock or a little Miller et Bertaux No. 3 Green, Green, Green, Green to help assuage my ill temperament, though the latter is almost too large sillage-wise for this mood. Big sillage means attracting attention, and in this mood, I want no such thing. I know on these days I can be hard to deal with; no need to inflict that on anyone but myself. FN3. I need to purchase JoAnne Bassett's Night Queen, not because it isn't beautiful or glorious on me, but because I think I would find it equally silver-lining inspiring.

Another scent I find really comforting is Demeter Fragrance Library Salt Air, which has a harsh edge to it and isn't super low sillage, but doesn't necessarily smell perfumey, and therefore is unnoticed by everyone but me. There is something about being able to put my headphones on with the volume cranked and close my eyes and give my wrist a little sniff and pretend for a few minutes I am not trapped at work but instead barreling down the highway along the coast with the windows down that makes me feel a tiny bit better.

You know what else is comforting? Foodie scents. L'Artisan Bois Farine, aka the infamous "bread hologram" is really comforting and moderate to low sillage in smallish doses. Another scent that makes me feel better on a bad day is Olympic Orchids Carolina, which smells like banana bread and is similar to Washington Tremlett Royal Heroes 1805, but better smelling and better priced.

And last, but not least, I always feel it's best to smell like a cocktail when I really, really want one. To that end, I have the terrific Memoire Liquide Champagne et Mure #900 and Frapin 1270 EDP to make me feel boozy, but without the drunken rambling over-truthfulness I’m prone to in my tipsy moments.

What about you dear reader? What do you wear when you have a black day? Tell me below to enter a monthly mix drawing , this one my much overdue August 2011 draw. August 2011 Mix CD, which is a mix mostly of which what I was listening to in August, some new, some old, all awesome. Winner will also recieve a $15 gift certificate to their choice of Demeter Fragrance Library or The Perfumed Court, a few decants, and possibly a post card and other goodies.

Comment by Friday October 28, 2011 12:01AM PST to enter!

At least one more draw this week, so stay tuned.
_____________________
FN1. See video here for explanation.
FN2. Too close, you fool! I'm in the mood to ax-murder a body! NEVER GET THAT CLOSE IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES! I could snap your poor self in half with nothing more than my jaws of viciousness on such an occasion.
FN3. And my lovely and long-suffering husband, who gets the backwash of my bad moody days by virtue of living with me, sadly.

Last night I dreamt I had forgotten my name...

Perfume Challenge Week 27: Monday, 7/18/11, to Friday, 7/22/11

NOTE: Unbeknownst to me, Blogger ate this post last week. I don't know why. Everything else went up fine. I'm reposting now and will post this past week's reviews tomorrow.

Come on, cool and rainy days!

Dear universe, I am ready for fall. That's right, it's not even August yet, Spring was long wet and late, and yet I am ready if not eager for Fall to arrive. I've spent so much time being cranky about this summer that, despite the days I spent in the winter longing for the warm lengthy days of June, July, and August, now I just want it to be over.

I cannot wait to run back to the dark cool days and even darker long nights wandering around the Olympic Peninsula and Northwest Coast again this Fall. Every time I don't think I can love this area more, I spend one of these weeks on one of my crazy adventures and then I do. So I say bring on the Fall.

Monday: Pacifica Perfume Malibu Lemon Blossom spray perfume - This fresh scent captures the free spirit of the Pacific Ocean with Lemon Blossom, Litsea Cubeba, flowering Angel's Trumpet, fresh herbs and salty sea breezes.

This scent is a quick turn, and longevity is minimal (~ two hours). At first a very light, almost bitingly acidic citrus is followed by a mouthful of lemon fruit dipped in baking sugar, which turns again to a bitter lemon peel. A wonderful scent for unbearably hot weather of the kind I experienced in Texas, and for $22 there are worse buys out there. 3.5 of 5 for the scent itself, but 1 of 5 for longevity.

Tuesday: Pacifica Perfume Tibetan Mountain Temple spray perfume - Vetiver and Indonesian Patchouli are the base of this tranquil, incense-like blend, while Ginger sits lightly in the middle and Orange provides expansive lift for these distinctive essential oils.

"Incense-like" is on the right track. Did you ever get slathered up with Tiger Balm and think, "This would make a great perfume if it weren't quite so pungent?" Great news! Someone has a made a perfume just for you. Clove-y, sweet, and medicinal with flesh and coppery blood undertones, its a one trick pony but reminded me so much of the smell of sleeping next to my mildly congested husband it made me smile, and I give it credit for that, 2.5-4 hours longevity. 3 for scent itself, 1.5 for longevity.

Wednesday: L’Artisan Premier Figuier - Notes: Fig, Fig Leaf, Milk of Almond, Sandalwood, Coconut. 

Dry, mossy, and green, this fig is neither particularly sweet or fruity. If fig trees flowered, this is what I'd expect such a bloom to smell like. It reminds me of some southern plant, something deeply ingrained and familiar to my youth, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it is. Bois de Jasmin described it as "a vision of green figs oozing milky sap" and I can get behind that description. I really like it, and think it is really nice for summer because it's less sticky sweet and has cooling accents. I haven't tried the Extrême, but I'd like to. 4 of 5 nods.

Thursday: Odori Tabacco - Notes: Sicilian bitter orange, Somalian incense, Chinese eucalyptus, Egyptian jasmine, Haitian vetiver, Madagascar vanilla, oak moss, tobacco leaves.

About seventy percent of the show here is a dryer, less sweet tabacco scent that on my skin falls somewhere between drying tobacco leaves and processed cigarette tobacco. It has a slightly medicinal edge that is almost chemical. It would make a nice masculine, but the dryness also makes it a chic and sophisticated feminine. The sweetness over most of the scent is very gently sweet, but strengthens substantially toward the end, around the two hour mark.

Despite that, if you want a less sweet tobacco but don't necessarily love the floralness of say, Etat Libre d'Orange Jasmin et Cigarette, don't want the strong sweet incense of Bond no. 9 Andy Warhol Silver Factory, and think slumberhouse Kote is too weird and harsh, you might like this one. 3 of 5 nods.

Friday: Le Labo Neroli 36 - Notes: Orange Flower Essence, Rose, Calone, Musk, Mandarin, Jasmine, Vanilla, Tonka Bean.

This is the first time I've encountered a strong neroli without it being welded to an equally strong orange blossom. This means this is really my first encounter with a true neroli scent. People, it has taken me five different tests several hours long, but I finally see the beauty.

I'll be honest, if you're new to perfume and you smell this, it's going to remind you strongly of Aquanet. I urge you to perservere! Now, fifth try along, I can discern the musk and vanilla and even the tonka bean. I don't have a strong frame of reference for nerolis, but let me say this one is pretty in a clean aqautic way. Neroli 36 is a good floral for warm weather. It is light and floral enough to read as feminine, I do wonder if I would like it on a man. *Sigh.* I really need a male guinea pig. 3.5 of 5 nods.

Winner of the Week:  L’Artisan Premier Figuier is the winner for being so lovely and figgy and yet...different.

"Chimney falls and lovers blaze.
Thought that I was young.
Now I've freezing hands and bloodless veins
as numb as I've become.
I'm so tired.
I wish I was the moon tonight..."
~ "I wish I was the Moon," Neko Case

Photos from the author and Eye on Spain, respectively.

"They smell to me quite sinister:" What Scent Smells Sinister?

Neko Case - Red Tide (Live)
There's a smell here that stands my hairs on end
dog hair in the heater, gas pumps and cedar,
and jackknifes on the nine and seabirds choked on fishing line...

I am lately obsessed with Neko Case. Her albums have been in heavy rotation in my car and on my mp3 player for several months now, and I don’t see it stopping any time soon.

I saw her live a couple weeks ago, and she was stunning. The thing that impressed me most, and there were quite a few things to be impressed by, was how she stood. Neko Case stands like a singer, a real singer. Her arms hang free at her sides, her feet are shoulder width apart, her knees are loose, and her microphone is level with her mouth. Then she opens her mouth, and she just…sings. She just sings, and it is so beautiful. I almost never get to see people really sing like that. Even from pretty far back in the venue, she just blew the doors off the thing.

That little girl from Tacoma is one helluva talent.

There's a smell here of gravel and cigarettes lit
when the match made them sweet
when the engine turned over and beat up our street
Oh, that was the day to remember...

One of the songs I find myself coming back to over and over is “Red Tide.” The reason I getting stuck on it, in fact, is that the entire song is more or less about scent. Being a perfumista, that means I hear it and I think perfume. Over and over I keep thinking, what perfumes smell like the red tide Neko Case is singing of? A smell that stands my hairs on end. A smell of gas pumps and cedar, of gravel and cigarettes lit when the match made them sweet.

What things smell like that? What things smell “to me quite sinister”? A sinister perfume, one that is like the scent of the fires that leapt from the caves of the things that have not happened yet, bad and mysterious and dangerous things of an ominous future, a bad turn around a dark bend.

L’Artisan Dzing!? No, it’s quirky, but not sinister. Carmel corn and sawdust and animal sweat could be sinster, but only if it felt like a cheap circus tent set ablaze with every person and animal simultaneously stampeding toward the exits in panic. This is more like an elephant balancing a ball on its nose in a cute way, a  Disney-esque take on circus life.

I dug through my boxes a few days ago, still in search of something sinister. The original DKNY Black Cashmere  packaging certainly has the makings of a sinister perfume, all black and smooth like the obelisk from 2001: A Space Odyssey. But the scent is wrong, too cozy and full sparkly top notes.

I tried several slumberhouse scents because they are so weirdly wonderful, and the closest was slumberhouse Vikt, but it didn’t have quite the right ratio of attraction and repulsion to be sinister to me.  It was too polished, to smooth.  It lacked the ragged edge of fierceness that says "I scare you, so come here."

So what smells sinister? What smells like that dark and murky feeling that haunts you when you are just freed from your ugliest dreams? In other words, what smells like this:

"The good Dale is in the Lodge, and he can't leave.
Write it in your diary."

I remember because of the fires that leapt 
from the caves of the things that have not happened yet
when I think of it now they smell to me quite sinister.

For me Olympic Orchids Gujarat fits the bill quite like nothing else I have found so far. And I don’t mean since I started thinking about this song or even since I started in with perfume. I mean since I could smell things, because this is high up there on things I now think of as attractive and yet sinister. The lovely Ellen Covey described the scent as follows:

A spicy, smoky oriental, Gujarat is made with just about every spice you can name and some you probably never even heard of, softened and sweetened with tropical flowers, supported on a base of smoky woods, resins, and balms, and garnished with a dash of chili and a twist of lime.

Gujarat is available as a parfum extrait or EdP and features notes of saffron, tulsi, lime, tagetes, jasmine, rose, cardamom, cumin, fenugreek, ginger, curry leaf, turmeric, mango, spikenard, olibanum, vetiver, patchouli, choya loban, black agar, and sandalwood.

The scent is dark and voluptuous, sweet and earthy, full of pitch and tar and whatever else you attribute to the part of a darkness that attracts you to it. The sweet is sticky like sweat and forbidden things and signs that say "Stop!" and "Turn Back Now!" It is strange because it’s almost so full of the night, with its dangerously attractive qualities, that I might think it was unwearable. Instead, it’s beautiful. It’s lovely and soft and wicked and dangerous.

And pretty freaking fantastic.

What about you, dear reader? Got any thoughts on those scents that when you think of them now smell to you quite sinister?