I said, Doctor, is there nothing I can take?

Perfume Challenge Week 38: Monday, 10/3/11 to Friday, 10/7/11

This week I bring you five scents from Amanda at Esscentual Alchemy Natural Perfumery, a line of scents that are 100% natural with modest sillage and longevity. She describes her line as follows:

When I create a perfume I do so intentionally. Being mindful of putting myself in a positive and loving, and uplifting emotional place. So that the perfume is positive, loving and uplifting emotionally as well. Each one blessed with good thoughts and wishes for the wearer.

Good thoughts and wishes? Sign me up.

First up, Queen of Punk - The Queen of Punk is a dirty girl. A dirty, dirty girl. Notes: Civet, Tobacco, Patchouli, Amber, Cognac, Rose, Coffee, Linden Blossom, Bitter Orange, Black Pepper, Mimosa.

In my life, I've known two kinds of punk girls. I've known fairly butch punk girls and I've known these surprisingly feminine punk girls who would smile sweetly at you while the ripped the nose ring right out of your face. Queen of Punk belongs to the latter. Queen of Punk is a surprisingly light 'dirty' scent. I get a healthy dose of fat wet patchouli leaves in the opening, but they are not too heavy, which makes this scent a nice surprise in the world of patchouli scents, which tend use a heavier patchouli. The civet is subtle, blending seamlessly with the cognac and coffee. I don't get a lot of the floral aspects beyond the linden blossom, and the black pepper kicks me in the nose like an aftertaste. A very pretty, decidedly feminine scent for such typically heavy notes, which is indivicative of how well made it is. 3.5 of 5 nods.

Mint Ginger Truffle - Chocolate Mint Ginger asks you to drizzle on some Chocolate Mint, and then later sniff again, and you've found the Ginger Center! Mmm...a little scented truffle for your nose. Notes: Chocolate, Mint, Ginger.

A very light gourmand, just insanely light for the spunky mixture of notes. The chocolate is faint and powdery on me, putting the mint and ginger to the fore. The ginger is tangy, as though you were sucking on fresh ginger root shavings. The mint provides a freshness to the scent without making it all about the mint or reading as some terrible mint-flavored gum or syrup mess. If you like desserts that aren't overly sweet or foodie and tend toward the fresh or spicy, I recommend this. 3 of 5 nods.

Lumberjack Man - This sultry cologne combines smoky tobacco, leathery labdanum, musky agarwood, sensual ylang ylang, spicy ginger, fresh lime, bitter wormwood, savory saffron, zesty black pepper, warm and floral rosewood, blend into a rich, and warm, yet crisp cologne, that is loved by both men and women. Notes: Tobacco, Labdanum, Agarwood, Ylang ylang, Ginger, Lime, Wormwood, Saffron, Black Pepper, Rosewood.

Dear reader, if I said Lumberjack smelled like a lumbar yard, would you think I was wimping out on you? It does though. And also vaguely of Home Depot, but minus the chemical fertilizer smell. In other words, if you like wood scents, you'll like this. Lumberjack is a strong, spicy wood with strong ladbanum aspects, it reminds me of what I would expect the Log Lady in Twin Peaks to smell like when she's chewing her pitch gum. 3 of 5 nods.

Autumn Spice - Woody myrrh, sweet sandalwood, earthy patchouli, the sweet spices of cinnamon and nutmeg, freshly floral lavender, the rich citrus of a blood orange, and the sparkle of bergamot are all arranged in this perfume with a delicate touch. Notes: Myrrh, Sandalwood, Patchouli, Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Lavender, Blood Orange, Bergamot.

Autumn Spices wears on me like a comforting friend. Mostly showing up as a sandalwood and spice blend, it has manages to be autumnal without feeling like a rehashing of the 'holiday' scented candles you find everywhere this time of year. One of the ways Autumn Spice manages is this is by using an unexpected base. Instead of going to the old autmunal stand-bys of heavy woods, smokey tobaccos, or sweet vanillas, it flourishes in a lavender and bergamot base, giving the scent an unexpected undercoating that reminds me of the scent of old books. If fall to you means back to school and late nights in a library cramming for tests and researching papers while drinkking gallons of herbal tea, this will smell *exactly* like those memories. 4 of 5 nods.

Fun fact: Autumn Spices is worn by Camryn Manheim, star of The Practice, a show demonstrating some heinously unscrupulous lawyering in thepursuit of roller coaster dramatic storytelling. I watched it for the latter, and still cringe at the memory of the former. Manheim is really talented and terrific in The Practice as Ellenor Frutt, though. She was also on The L Word and is now back on law t.v. in Harry's Law. I heart her.

Lime in the Coconut - This lime and coconut perfume might make you hungry...This smells like a delectable cream pie, and everytime I smell it, it makes me hungry first, and then makes me want to bake pies! Notes: Key Lime Hydrosol, Toasted Coconut Tincture, Lime essential oil

"You put the lime in the coconut, and drink'em both together, put the lime in the coconut, and then you feel better..." Sorry, had to get that out there. Love the song (even have the t-shirt), love the scent. A wonderful and realistic lime with a warm gently sweet coconut base.  What is so impressive is that I've tried coconut heavy scents and lime heavy scents and this is the most realist scent I've never had.  It's a unique and interesting blend of notes I've ever encountered in scent.  My only wish is that the sillage was larger, but I could definitely wear it in my scent sensitive workplace, so if you need light scents, this is a great one. 4.5 of 5 nods.

She put the lime in the coconut, she drank 'em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up, and said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache, I said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache
~ "Coconut," Harry Nilsson

Scents generously provided by the perfumer. Images from Esscentual Alchemy except for the t-shirt, which is from Zeusandhera thanks to Creative Commons.

Congrats to Starling, winner of the Demeter draw!

List Randomizer

There were 7 items in your list. Here they are in random order:

1. Starling
2. beanphed
3. cKate
4. ccdouglass
5. Carrie Meredith
6. frill
7. Alnysie

Timestamp: 2011-08-22 03:08:25 UTC

_______________________________________

Congrats! Please email me an updated address so I can get your package in the mail!

And she was lying in the grass, and she could hear the highway breathing.

Scent Spotlight: Demeter Fragrance Libary Grass, also PRIZE DRAW and head-to-head scent delivery method comparison.

In case you missed it, we've been experiencing some technical difficulties here at Feminine Things, which are hopefully now resolved. Also, life has been crazy, with the moving twice and being short staffed at work. But enough about the bad; let's focus on the good in life. And in my world? That means the perfume.

I bring you a strange challenge today. I was talking on twitter to Victoria and Carrie (and I think Gaia as well) about Demeter Fragrance line. I love the CB I Hate Perfume line, and Demeter is Christopher Brosius' former employer. I had never tried Demeter scents and, given the low price point, asked what people thought before I went nuts about bought 10-15 of them unsniffed. The general response from the tubes – great scents but not terribly long lasting, better suited for room sprays than perfumes.

Considering my purchases and related powers of acquisition, I noticed in my dithering of do-I-or-don’t-I that Demeter added a perfume oil version available in a rollerball. Would a perfume oil last longer, as advertised, and fix the major criticism of the line? Or perhaps the alcohol based spray or splash was fine, but needed the spray-until-wet technique I learned from Mals at Muse in Wooden Shoes? Only one way to find out.

So I did exactly what any truly insane perfumista would do – bought the same scent twice in both forms.

Yes, that’s right. I couldn’t buy two different scents because I wouldn’t truly be able to tell if the scent lasted longer because it was stronger or I noticed it more or the method of scent delivery (oil roll on vs. alcohol spray) was the better choice. Nope, the only option was two buy two bottles of the same scent. I managed to pick up a 15ml cologne splash for $6 and the 8.8ml roll-on for $10, so for a whopping $16 plus shipping, I got my mad wish, though I admit that the entire over-the-top endeavor is probably inspired by my most recent Top Gear binge.

Random thoughts about grass...

After scrolling through the extensive list of Demeter scents and considering everything from Basil to Birthday Cake to Salt Air to Mulled Cider, I finally settled on, of all things, Demeter Grass. FN1. Yes, Grass. What can I say? It’s summer and I love a good freshly mowed lawn. The description, which is lengthy, is as follows:

Playing in it.......lying on it......or even mowing it....Grass smells wonderful. Centipede grass, the most widely used lawn grass in the southeast United States, has something of a romantic history. Around 1918, the U.S. Department of Agriculture sent a Dr. Meyer, a plant explorer, to China in search of plants that might be economically useful. Tragically, before his return home Chinese bandits killed Dr. Meyer. His suitcases arrived in the U.S. where a collection of seeds was found, including a packet of Chinese centipede grass seeds. That packet of seed was sent to a USDA experimental station near Savannah, Georgia. In the early 1920's, Jack Renfroe took four sprigs of the grass to his father, Mr. Riley Renfroe, who had a 400 acre farm near Quitman. Three of those sprigs survived and were planted in a pasture. In 1950, Ray Jensen, a soil scientist for the USDA, visited the Renfroe farm to make a soil survey. Although 96 years old, Mr. Riley Renfroe wanted to accompany Jensen on the survey. That evening the two settled down to a wonderful southern dinner and that is when the story of the centipede grass on the Renfroe farm was told. Ray Jensen had just finished building his home on 20th Street in Tifton, Georgia. Mr. Renfroe insisted he take a pickup load home with him for his yard, where Jensen planted all the grass. The following year Jensen contracted Mr. Renfroe to produce centipede seed from the 40 acre pasture he had developed from just three live sprigs of the Chinese grass. Ray Jensen had a vision to produce and sell this wonderful grass and seed and offer it as a foundation to southern homes and businesses. From China to Washington, DC, to Savannah to Quitman to Tifton, to the entire southeast and beyond, from one small packet of seed and three live sprigs, today centipede grass can be found on lawns and ornamental turf areas around the world. In Demeter’s Grass Pick-Me-Up Cologne, we have captured the freshness and sweetness of a lush green grass pasture, much like the pasture that Mr. Riley Renfroe planted with centipede grass from those three live springs over 80 years ago.

...contained in footnotes below.

First let’s talk about the scent. I grew up playing and lazying about on those fabled lawns of the American South and I know that smell, so familiar it plays on repeat in the memory of summer when I think about my life. As a ‘grass’ scent, let me say this – the scent itself is wonderful. It does smell like fresh cut grass, but less like the real deal spread between the fingers of your outstretched hand and more like an intense sculpture of grass, or like a wild Van Gogh-esque painting of fresh grass. It is a very sweet grass, and almost has a little bit of a soapy edge, but is really quite beautiful. My friend, Kate, said she thought it was more like clover, and I can see that.  For someone who wasn’t sure if they liked scent, or thought all scents were too “perfumey” this might make a good offering, though I can also see some critique of the scent reminding folks of a clothes detergent, as I suspect that this is what they’re always aiming for when they aim for grass or nature scents. I also want to say that this isn't so much real grass as the intense experience of grass, like grass as one might imagine experiencing it on a perception altering substance. FN2. I give the scent itself a solid 3.5 to 4 nods for originality and closeness to reality.

But to the more important question, in a head-to-head scent off, which lasts longer – perfume oil or alcohol splash, and how long is that, exactly? Here are my totally subjective findings.

The cologne splash lasted longer than the perfume oil on me, though when I first applied them, the oil was stronger on my skin. The dry down between the two, at least for Grass, was virtually identical, so you’re going to get the same ride either way. The cologne splash lasted a little over five hours in the slightest lingering, slightly longer than others warned me. The oil lasted even less than that, only about three and a half hours, which really surprised me, particularly when it started out so much stronger. Either way, a disappointingly short skin life.

Hmmm... grass...

Just to give it a last run, I took the splash and stuck some in a sprayer, then sprayed until wet, and that got me to almost seven hours, though it was very weak by then, and you’d go through a bottle pretty fast to use that much. Plus, it sprays on so wet you’d need to apply it before getting dressed so it didn’t run all into your clothes. In other words, it takes work to make it last, and even then it’s not a scent you'll still be catching whiffs of at the end of a full day.

So is it worth it? Well, I guess that depends. On the one hand, the scents aren’t going to last long in any iteration. On the other hand – so cheap and so many options! And on the gripping hand, some days you don’t want to wear the same scent for your morning and your evening plans, and in those cases this is a fine option. For a mere $18 you could go through three scents in one day. I don’t recommend the line for those looking for a ‘signature scent,’ but for those who like to play with scent wardrobe, for the price of one $60 scent, you can have ten completely different ones here. That makes them not only a fun addition to my extensive collection, but a great source for assuaging impulse shopping and stocking stuffers.

Which brings me, finally, to this: Your August prize draw. A bit late, sure, but here nonetheless. Winner gets my extra roller ball of Demeter Grass, a $10 gift certificate to Demeter Fragrances which is almost enough to buy you a 15ml cologne splash of your choosing and cover shipping within the U.S. (sorry, international readers, you’ll have to pay a little more for the shipping) and of course, a mix CD made by yours truly.

To enter, go to the Demeter Fragrance site (which is not AT ALL attractive, but at least appeals to the utilitarian in me), look through the list, and tell me what you might buy if you win!

Open to all readers anywhere, and very excited to hear your thoughts.

To enter please post by: 12:01AM, Monday, August 22, 2011 Pacific Standard Time.

"And she was drifting through the backyard...
And she was taking off her dress...
And she was moving very slowly...
Rising up above the earth...
Moving into the universe, and she's
Drifting this way and that...
Not touching ground at all, and she's
Up above the yard...
and she was."
"And She Was," Talking Heads

______________________________
FN1. I actually changed my mind so many times that I would have sworn to you with the delivered box unopened and in hand that I'd bought Salt Air, because I love going to the beach and do that a lot during the summers here, but apparently I changed my mind at the last minute. I think I decided I had a lot of 'beachy' scents already. I honestly don't remember. Now that I've been convinced it was coming, though, I want it. And I did just get paid today...

FN2. Not that I would know anything about that. It just seems that way, like when you look at a Van Gogh and you think, "Whatever he was on must have been wonderful!" or look at a HR Giger and think, "Holy Jesus, keep whatever he was taking away from me!"

I bet David Lynch could even make this
creepy...oh, wait! He did! In Blue Velvet!

FN3. I just want to make a note that there are a creepily large number of photos that turn up when you google image search "girl laying on grass" or even "person laying on grass" and you can make out the individual's identity in every one. Apparently artsy shots of obscured human figures on grass are not common, and now that I think about it, would probably come out looking sinister in a Lynch-esque way.

FN4. The Demeter description reminded me. I had this friend once who did her thesis on the history of the American lawn and how it's basically an environmental catastrophe as well as a socio-cultural catastrophe since its inception in the 1950s, single family homes destroying urban centers, creating horrible gridlock, and social isolation for women of the Feminine Mystique variety. It made sense, but also made me a little sad. In the way I tend to festishize small town Americana, I do love a good village green...

FN5. Does anyone else think the invention of astroturf was basically a one of the plastics/petroleum industry's most horrible ideas? Like terrible bad?

FN6. Ditto for golf courses? Does anyone else start ranting about how much they hate golf courses every time they drive by one?

FN7. Who knew I had so many thoughts about grass, lawns, and grass/lawn-related things?

Last night I dreamt I had forgotten my name...

Perfume Challenge Week 27: Monday, 7/18/11, to Friday, 7/22/11

NOTE: Unbeknownst to me, Blogger ate this post last week. I don't know why. Everything else went up fine. I'm reposting now and will post this past week's reviews tomorrow.

Come on, cool and rainy days!

Dear universe, I am ready for fall. That's right, it's not even August yet, Spring was long wet and late, and yet I am ready if not eager for Fall to arrive. I've spent so much time being cranky about this summer that, despite the days I spent in the winter longing for the warm lengthy days of June, July, and August, now I just want it to be over.

I cannot wait to run back to the dark cool days and even darker long nights wandering around the Olympic Peninsula and Northwest Coast again this Fall. Every time I don't think I can love this area more, I spend one of these weeks on one of my crazy adventures and then I do. So I say bring on the Fall.

Monday: Pacifica Perfume Malibu Lemon Blossom spray perfume - This fresh scent captures the free spirit of the Pacific Ocean with Lemon Blossom, Litsea Cubeba, flowering Angel's Trumpet, fresh herbs and salty sea breezes.

This scent is a quick turn, and longevity is minimal (~ two hours). At first a very light, almost bitingly acidic citrus is followed by a mouthful of lemon fruit dipped in baking sugar, which turns again to a bitter lemon peel. A wonderful scent for unbearably hot weather of the kind I experienced in Texas, and for $22 there are worse buys out there. 3.5 of 5 for the scent itself, but 1 of 5 for longevity.

Tuesday: Pacifica Perfume Tibetan Mountain Temple spray perfume - Vetiver and Indonesian Patchouli are the base of this tranquil, incense-like blend, while Ginger sits lightly in the middle and Orange provides expansive lift for these distinctive essential oils.

"Incense-like" is on the right track. Did you ever get slathered up with Tiger Balm and think, "This would make a great perfume if it weren't quite so pungent?" Great news! Someone has a made a perfume just for you. Clove-y, sweet, and medicinal with flesh and coppery blood undertones, its a one trick pony but reminded me so much of the smell of sleeping next to my mildly congested husband it made me smile, and I give it credit for that, 2.5-4 hours longevity. 3 for scent itself, 1.5 for longevity.

Wednesday: L’Artisan Premier Figuier - Notes: Fig, Fig Leaf, Milk of Almond, Sandalwood, Coconut. 

Dry, mossy, and green, this fig is neither particularly sweet or fruity. If fig trees flowered, this is what I'd expect such a bloom to smell like. It reminds me of some southern plant, something deeply ingrained and familiar to my youth, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it is. Bois de Jasmin described it as "a vision of green figs oozing milky sap" and I can get behind that description. I really like it, and think it is really nice for summer because it's less sticky sweet and has cooling accents. I haven't tried the Extrême, but I'd like to. 4 of 5 nods.

Thursday: Odori Tabacco - Notes: Sicilian bitter orange, Somalian incense, Chinese eucalyptus, Egyptian jasmine, Haitian vetiver, Madagascar vanilla, oak moss, tobacco leaves.

About seventy percent of the show here is a dryer, less sweet tabacco scent that on my skin falls somewhere between drying tobacco leaves and processed cigarette tobacco. It has a slightly medicinal edge that is almost chemical. It would make a nice masculine, but the dryness also makes it a chic and sophisticated feminine. The sweetness over most of the scent is very gently sweet, but strengthens substantially toward the end, around the two hour mark.

Despite that, if you want a less sweet tobacco but don't necessarily love the floralness of say, Etat Libre d'Orange Jasmin et Cigarette, don't want the strong sweet incense of Bond no. 9 Andy Warhol Silver Factory, and think slumberhouse Kote is too weird and harsh, you might like this one. 3 of 5 nods.

Friday: Le Labo Neroli 36 - Notes: Orange Flower Essence, Rose, Calone, Musk, Mandarin, Jasmine, Vanilla, Tonka Bean.

This is the first time I've encountered a strong neroli without it being welded to an equally strong orange blossom. This means this is really my first encounter with a true neroli scent. People, it has taken me five different tests several hours long, but I finally see the beauty.

I'll be honest, if you're new to perfume and you smell this, it's going to remind you strongly of Aquanet. I urge you to perservere! Now, fifth try along, I can discern the musk and vanilla and even the tonka bean. I don't have a strong frame of reference for nerolis, but let me say this one is pretty in a clean aqautic way. Neroli 36 is a good floral for warm weather. It is light and floral enough to read as feminine, I do wonder if I would like it on a man. *Sigh.* I really need a male guinea pig. 3.5 of 5 nods.

Winner of the Week:  L’Artisan Premier Figuier is the winner for being so lovely and figgy and yet...different.

"Chimney falls and lovers blaze.
Thought that I was young.
Now I've freezing hands and bloodless veins
as numb as I've become.
I'm so tired.
I wish I was the moon tonight..."
~ "I wish I was the Moon," Neko Case

Photos from the author and Eye on Spain, respectively.

2011 Challenge: Your Questions, My Answers

Kitteh is available to take questions...

The very clever Undina recently posted on my original challenge post, to ask some questions about my process. While I momentarily considered pulling a Felicia Day ("I don't discuss my process!"), in truth I suspect a few of you have questions or curiosities, and I wanted to take a moment to address them.

Let's take these questions in the order asked, shall we?

1. Are you re-testing any of the perfumes? 

In a word, yes, though not the way you expect probably. Part of this challenge, actually, was to force me to start working through my purgatory stash, which frankly is still huge. When I started at the beginning of the year, I had over 200 samples I had been sitting on. Not knowing anything about perfume, it took me several months to buy a bottle of any kind because I felt totally overwhelmed. So I bought a ton of samples. Many of them I tried, but never gotten around to reviewing. The challenge was a sort of way to force me to actually get moving on it.

Why hadn't I said anything about those I'd tried before?

Summer, Sun, Fun! - slumberhouse reviews & Drawing Winner!

Perfume Challenge Week 24: Monday, 6/27/11, to Friday, 7/1/11

"As long as I get to pee on a stick and eat my delicious jerky, I'm in." - Katherine Heigl, "Killers"

Surprisingly entertaining film if you haven't seen it and are into spy stuff (which I am), even if the premise is silly and the plot twist is transparent. Anyhoo, I'm posting this from my OlympicPeninsula/Canadian adventure by the time you are reading this. It's my first time out of the U.S., which I am absurbly excited about despite the fact that it's a very short trip to a very close place. What can I say? I've been all over the U.S. I only need 10 states to make my "50 before 40" goal. But leaving and going somewhere, anywhere, else, it's a first step to a bigger life.Who wouldn't be excited about that?

Also, a little housekeeping - Congrats to flavourfanatic, who won the drawing for a copy ofPerfumes: The Guide. Please email me at feminine(dot)things @ gmail.com.

If you didn't win this time, take heart. More drawing plans are underway, and they are going to be really good, if I do say so myself. And now...

More slumberhouse perfumes!

Monday: slumberhouse Miel - Rich honey and leather. Includes notes of: leather, honey, rose, cigarette accord, ambergris, black tea absolute, castoreum musk, saffron. A very imaginative and complex fragrance comprising 54 separate components diluted at 40%.

Very like new thick stiff leather, conjuring in my mind a pair of pristine new saddle shoes. Honey is the note I don't get until very late (2 hours in?), but yes, a lot of saffron and musk right from the beginning. On the whole Miel is a rich industrial scent or the high-fashion, super urban varity that is so gritty and urban, I can't decide which of these two outfits it seems to fit more: very structured black dress with wide belt, sleek-lined military in style or this intense pseudo-regal stiff collared dress that screams "Victorian Space Royalty" to me. Not a scent I see fitting with my current style, but very nice for the edgey, fashion forward type. 3 of 5 nods.

Tuesday: slumberhouse Grev - The interpretation of the dapperest embodiments of a true gentleman. A deep, spicy, earthy, rooty fragrance with an elegant kick of herbs tinted through shades of orris, clove, birch and fir. A completely post-modern version of an elegant masculine cologne, grev is a very intriguing fragrance - truly nothing like it. Notes: Copaiba, fir balsams, clove, birch, orris, cedar

Fir and cloves and cedar make for a smooth, polished scent. It has a littl menthol aspect at the beginning, but the middle is more like a strongly clove and menthol tea. I think it's a very modern scent, but still elegant and classic, reminiscent of those moments when big fashion houses seize on and attempt to reinvent fashion staples, like the little black dress or the the taupe trench coat.

Walking over to me, mi marido said, "I don't know what it is you smell like, but it's nice." Since he rarely makes such comments - he's not that into scent, tragically - I always make a note when he actually notices enough to say he likes the way I smell. You should take that as a recommendation, because I'm over here spray and dabbing and rollering all the live long day and it rarely evokes commentary. Grev is a great scent and I would not restrict it to just men. 4.5 of 5 nods.

Wednesday: slumberhouse Vikt - Dark balsamic woods slowly oozing sweet metallic oils - motions of soft smokey black agar woods through syrupy bronze resins. Incredibly deep & well rounded fragrance with a mellow darkness at its heart. Notes: Oud, styrax, ravensara.

Balsamic woods is a good assessment of the opening of the scent, which smells a bit like a campfire made of scavenged antiques in some post-Zombie apocalyptic future. I agree with mellow and dark, woody and sweet; it's well-made and might work well as a deep dark coffee/licorice liqueur. It's like sucking on hard coffee-flavored candy, like dark polished wood colored painted nails. Classy, smooth, subtle and at the same time unexpected, unorthodox. 3 of 5 nods.

Thursday: slumberhouse Jeke - The concept for this started in autumn 2008 with a batch of smokey cade oil and the idea of a night time stroll with burning autumn woods in the distance - something fiery and burnt yet chillingly desolate, November illusory, breath of fog, ablaze. Into this design I sought to embed a defined masculinity - something well-worn yet intellectual, a refinement streamlined with rustic attributes - warmth of cigars in humidors, old leather shoes & odd buckles, traces of a fragmented sweet spice, the mysterious atmosphere that adorns the well traveled. Notes: Cade, tobacco absolute, patchouli, labdanum, benzoin

Tobacco and labdanum, but with what seems like a strongly citrus edge. It reminds me of a richly fantastic like a fistful of fresh tobacco leaves macerated in an orange/lemon/lime puree on a bed of patchouli leaves.

You know what else it reminds me of? My friend Ashley spent a year studying in Africa, and when she came back she brought some 'beer' back from my ale aficionado husband. This beer? Basically hooch by any other name. It was made with banana leaves (hubby also loves banana) in a hole in the ground with some other materials and left to...cultivate, while in a second hole nearby a fire was set to warm the ground and aid in the fermenting process. The result -- quite frankly will knock you on your ass. How Ashley even got it back into the states remains a mystery to me. (Though she is, generally speaking, a woman of mystery so that's not really surprising).

Long story longer? This scent reminds me of the mysterious, primal, earthy 'banana beer' she brought us. I'm loving it. 4 of 5 nods.

Thursday:slumberhouse Ore-An affection for Carmex lip balm, so Slumberhouse did something about it. Imagine an intensely bastardized version, thickened with sweet scotch and bitter cocoa, made slightly mean with a splash of pure black peppercorn and smeared in a creamy lactonic backdrop. One hell of a dark and sexy beast[.]Notes:Guaiac wood, peru balsam, black pepper, cocoa absolute, palmarosa, clary sage.

Carmex lip balm and chocolate. Yeah, I can actually see that here, because on me the opening was a combination I described to my travel companion as "chocolate-lemon-pine." In the immortal words of the late Johnny Carson, "weird wild stuff." Twenty minutes in the dry cocoa aspect is still there, but the lemon has backed off, and the whole spice aspect has muddled together in a curry sort of way. I even get a civet-like note happening. An hour in it changes drastically again, and I smell blood/warm copper, sage, sugared lemon rind, and celery salt. One of the weirdest scents I've ever tried. I can't say that I really enjoyed the opening, but the middle was decent and the end really nice. Definitely one of those scents you have to see through, though, and not going to be for everyone. 3 of 5 nods.

Winner of the Week : Grev edges out Jeke. All of the scents above are available at Indiescent, bottles and samples.

Also, I want to say a word about slumberhouse while I have your attention. I have been surprised, honestly, by the mixed commentary I've been encountering about the line. Personally, I think their work speaks for itself and certainly doesn't need me to defend it. That said, I think slumberhouse is more of the most unique and complicated lines I've tried in the three years I've been doing this. Many of their perfumes are pretty, even beautiful, but that doesn't seem to be the goal. If you accept the premise that scent is an art, like visual art or auditory art, meant to be experienced and impact the person having the experience or to convey a feeling or thought on behalf the creator, then I think slumberhouse is more toward that end of the spectrum. It isn't ultra-realism, like CB I Hate Perfume. It isn't classic like Chanel. It isn't an epic mastery of a particular collective goal, creating some sense of Aristotlean form of that aspect of beauty. It speaks for itself and that either reaches you or it doesn't. That's not a judgement on you, as the sniffa, but it also isn't a judgement on the scent itself. But in the great mental museum of olfactory art, there has to be a po-mo/contemporary wing, and this work slumberhouse is doing would belong there.

A girl I know was participating in a performance art piece on behalf of the art department at the college for theinaugurationof our new college president. As she and the other students were getting ready to begin their piece, one particular art professor came by and hissed, "Remember: what you're doing isn't art. It's decoration." The professor did not believe, given the context of the piece and circumstances surrounding it, that their collective performance piece could really be art. Instead, it was there to be looked at and to entertain, but not to speak for itself as art. When I see critiques of slumberhouse, I'm often reminded of this story. I think too many times people come to perfume looking for decoration, for something that will enhance the wearer. I believe there's a legitimate place for that. But I also hope there is room for us to experience some weird, wild stuff and be moved by it, be challenged by it, and through it, to find aspects of being ourselves as people and being experienced as ourselves in relation to the scent by the world and those around us in new ways, ways we might have missed otherwise.

Because that is art, and adventure, and risk, and reward. In the face of an often routine and stolid world, isn't that something worth appreciating?

I like to think so.

I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand.

Perfume Challenge Week 23: Monday, 6/20/11, to Friday, 6/24/11

Whew! It's been a busy week and quiet weekend for me since I'm headed out of town next weekend.  Where to, you ask?  Well I just got my very first passport and shiny passport card, so I am headed to Victoria, B.C. for part of the weekend.  I'm also dropping by my favorite vampire-ridden Washington town for Independence Day festivities.  I mean, who doesn't enjoy a good old-fashioned frog jump? So this weekend is about work and projects and chores for the most part. I finished Lauren Kate's Passion, the recently released third book in the Fallen series, which I enjoyed, although the ending was not what I expected.  I also watched two of the three episodes of BBC's Sherlock, which I am lov-ing.  Whatever Sherlock's damage may be, that man is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

I need to say two quick things about current events before I get to the reviews.  I am very happy that the fine state of New York has joined the ranks of those states to approve marriage equality for same-sex couples.  The arc of history truly does bend toward justice, and these days when it can sometimes be hard to remember that, a group of people will come through in a clutch and remind you of just how much we are capable of when learn to overcome our petty differences in favor of the things that unite us.

Simultaneously, I am very sad that Peter Falk has died.  He was an angel walking among men, but I'll always love him most as Columbo, a man who made beige trench coats cool and whose squinty-eyed demeanor was remarkably charming.  I hope he has found the peace now that eluded him so much in the last few years of his life.

In fact, here's a little musical interlude, in honor of our bumbling, beloved fallen member of the host.

When you're following an angel

Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building?

Somewhere they're meeting on a pinhead

Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest things

I heard they had a space program

When they sing you can't hear, there's no air

Sometimes I think I kind of like that and

Other times I think I'm already there.

Thank you Mr. Falk for reminding us that merely being human is sometimes worth the greatest of sacrifice.  Also, note to self, get tickets for that TMBG show this fall.  Okay, now we can move on to the perfume.

Monday: As part of The Midsummer Night's Dream event, I reviewed JoAnne Bassett Perfumes Night Queen.

Tuesday: Olympic Orchids Olympic Amber - This was originally formulated as a base for other perfumes, but it stands beautifully on its own. A rich amber scent full of natural labdanum ornamented with vanilla, benzoin, incense, resins, patchouli, and woods. A true oriental fragrance that will transport you on a jeweled magic carpet of olfactory delights. Let's say you wanted to like Guerlain Shalimar, but it was just too big and loud and floral, like your Aunt Earlene's taste in heavy curtains. This might make an excellent alternative. Where a person might find the former full of big loud floral prints loved by women with frizzy hair, here there is resin and dirt and decaying leaves and wet wood.

I, however, love Shalimar. As a descendant of the kind of women who love those curtains, who employ design firms like Sugarbakers Design to install them, I would love it for sentimental reasons even if it were all those garish things. That said, I personally find it fashionable and fun, and if there is big floral print, it's the kind you find on a tiny summer dress with a swishy full skirt and big Hepburn-style sunglasses. Haters gonna hate, but I don't care; Shalimar is still wonderful.

But I was here to talk about Olympic Amber. As a Shalimar lover, I love this, too. And I love it for the differences. This is a very naturally scented amber, an amber that derived from the earth and forest and sea, nestled in notes that make it feel like a jewel discovered there.


Holding Olympic Amber up against Shalimar and Beyond Kilian Love to my friend LillieMae, who has an affection for perfume that I would describe as in its infancy, but growing, she agreed that she could smell the strong vanilla/amber notes across the three. Her completely uninfluenced opinion was that she thought Shalimar was nice, wanted to eat Love, but the one she'd want to wear, actually wear as an expression of herself? Olympic Amber. I am inclined to agree; as strongly vanilla/ambers go, I'd like to wear this one, too. 3.5 of 5 nods.

Wednesday: Boadicea The Victorious Divine - Notes: Jasmine, mandarin, aldehydes, styrax, sandalwood. Primarily jasmine, the aldehydes are a wonderful blend here so this stays away from becoming a heavy floral and stays light and pretty. This is a wonderful floral scent for summer. It doesn't have the best staying power (about 4 hours) but that does mean it is excellent for summer weather. Also, you don't always want a floral to bloom so large that it feels like you're carry a virtual hedgerow in front of you. Sometimes, light floral is exactly what you want, particularly in a jasmine. 3.5 nods.

Thursday: As part of The Midsummer Night's Dream event, I reviewed The Scented Djinn Peaseblossom EdT.

Friday: Soivohle Cordovan Rose - Notes: leather, smoke, plum, rose. If I think of just one of the listed notes and close my eyes, I can find it here, right here, in the opening.

Unfortunately, the combination, if I'm not trying to pick out a particular note and just hit a whiff of the opening? Chewing tobacco. Yeah, that's right. Dip, snuff, chaw. Call it what you will -- my dad dipped, my brother used to dip, hell my great gramma and great aunt used to dip, that's how deep south my family roots go. Sadly, this makes the opener of what would otherwise be a hugely unique scent experience for me a complete bummer.

And that is terribly sad. Because, and once again I will drag my perfume machinations into this, when I made LillieMae smell it and then smell it again a half hour later, the middle and end of the drydown read as the smell of a wonderful old leatherbound book or a beautifully made leather couch with a vase of two dozen strongly scented roses on the end table next to it.

So basically it repulses me unfairly, when I would obviously otherwise love it. It would work beautifully on a man and makes an awesomely unconventionally attractive scent for a woman, the kind of woman who could pull off the outfit to the left, say with some matching boots. So, ignoring my weird associations with the opening, 4 or 5 nods for its uniqueness.

Winner of the Week: For me personally, Olympic Orchids Olympic Amber. That said, I think Divine and Cordovan Rose are every bit as good.

"You know that I want you
and you know that I need you.
I want it bad, your bad romance.
I want your love and
I want your revenge.
You and me could write a bad romance."
~ "Bad Romance," Lady GaGa

The sun in your eyes made some of your lies worth believing.

Sometimes a girl just wants to rest!

Perfume Challenge Week 22: Monday, 6/13/11, to Friday, 6/17/11

First off, congrats to Elisa who won the May drawing and with it a mix CD and beautiful sampler set from INeKE Perfumes. Bonus: the cost of the sampler set goes toward a bottle purchase! That's right, people. The prizes just keep getting sweeter here at Feminine Things.

This weekend is busy like woah. I had a wedding last night, The Mountain Goats show tonight, and tomorrow, more things! And every weekend has been like this lately.

Also, I want to give a shout out to Samantha, one of my readers who introduced me to a some new perfumes and gave *me* a couple mix CDs. Who knew I could love a carrot perfume? But I do. It's awesome. Also, I am rocking those CDs, so thanks for that. It makes me want to see if we can get a little local perfumista shindig together. If you're greater PDX local and interested, send me an email.

Monday: Soivohle Perfumes Vanillaville - Notes: A rustic eathery vanilla with overtones of pipe tobacco, notes include, sweet fennel, pink pepper, coffee absolute, cinnamon cepes, rectified birch tar, sandalwood, amyris, floral accord benzoin, almonds. This a bitter, dry chocolatey, rubbery leather scent. I imagine this is what chocolate scented leather would smell like, or like drinking a bone dry mexican chocolate latte while perched atop a mountain of brand new leather pants. I get no vanilla at the top, just a noseful of vetiver and chocolate. If you were looking for a chocolate scent for someone who wanted a muscular and lean expression and less full-bodied and foodie, this might make a good one. You better love the leather, though. I haven't smelled this much leather since the last time I was in a bondage boutique. My only complaint is that on me it faded to a slightly sweet but otherwise almost undetectable scent on my skin after about four hours. 4.5 of 5 nods for scent originality, 3 of 5 nods for longevity.

Tuesday: As part of The Midsummer Night's Dream event, I reviewed Bellatrix Perfumes Titania.

Wednesday: By Kilian Prelude to Love (Invitation) - Notes: Seville orange, bergamot, Amalfi lemon, ginger, pepper, orange blossom, Florence iris. The notes on this one really precede it with accuracy in my opinion. I don't get a lot of orange, but I do gt a nose full of bergamot, ginger, and lemon heavy-citrus up front, like being slapped with the citrus stick. I personally get very little of the iris, which appears in the middle, before the drydown turns into a citrus-tinged orange blossom. A nice fragrance, but a strange and unexpected sharpness to a romantic prelude, so as a meditation on the theme, a little off for me. 3 of 5 nods.

Thursday: Parfums de Nicolai Turquoise - Notes: Mango, apricot, lime, osmanthus, spice, Turkish rose, pepper, jasmine, cardamom, cedar, musk, jasmine absolute. Lime, mango, and rose mesh together in the opening to give a surprisingly pleasant fruit coctail experience. I know that sounds bad, but it is meant to be a compliment. It smooths out thanks to the dry spices so you end up with a gently smooth and sweet scent that works surprisingly well in hot weather. Don't really get the name, though.  3 of 5 nods.

Friday: As part of The Midsummer Night's Dream event, I reviewed EnVoyage Perfumes Titania.

Winner of the Week: This is really hard because of the fantastic perfumes made for the Midsummer Night's Dream Event. I think I have to pass; this week I'm the winner for getting to smell all these lovely smells.

"Don't leave false illusions behind.
Don't cry; I ain't changing my mind.
So find another fool like before
'cause I ain't gonna live anymore believing
some of the lies while
all of the signs are deceiving..."
~ "Eye in the Sky," Alan Parsons Project

Well, the devil in you tried to tell me what to do. I don't think so.

Perfume Challenge Week 21: Monday, 6/6/11, to Friday, 6/10/11

kitten surveys her new territory

What a week, cats and kittens. It’s been a long week of longness. David and I had to temporarily move while they do a partial renovation on our apartment, so it’s been a lot of packing, unpacking, reorganizing, and generally trying to get settled in. My cats are trying to adjust as well. It was an opportunity to get out my Aveda oil burner David gave me several years ago and using my collection of twenty or thirty home fragrance oils to scent my new house.

Monday: Jo Malone Vintage Gardenia - A captivating blend, the classic florals gardenia and tuberose are combined with cardamom, sandalwood and myrrh to create a rich seduction of the senses. There is a whole lot of tuberose is the opening, so much so, that I couldn't find the gardenia at first. This isn't a knock for me; I loves me some tubereuse. When the gardenia is there, it does a little dance with the tuberuese for the forward space on me, which on me sometimes come off as a little tropical (coconut/banana) on me. Cardamon and myrrh make their appearance about twenty minutes in and that is when I really begin to like this, because it becomes kind of...well not to be obvious, but spicy to me -- sexy spicy. Generally, though I tend to think of this as a tubereuse with a twist, name notwithstanding.

Also, I borrowed a layering tip and tried it against Jo Malone Black Vetyver Cafe. I'm undecided. On the one hand, I like the combination. The spices compliment each other and the floral notes combine with the sweet coffee business nicely. An hour in, the combination is almost like burning wood. It's big, though, so I'm thinking summer is maybe not the time for this layering combo. I'm going to try it again this fall, when I'm thinking more cozy thoughts.

For Vintage Gardenia, 3.5 of 5 nods. For the layering combo, a tentative 3 of 5 nods.

Tuesday: Olympic Orchids Fleurs de Glace - Notes unknown. One of those surprising scents not even listed on the website (I love that Ellen does this!), I am forced to rely entirely on my tiny newbie nose. "Flowers of Ice" on me is a surprisingly green scent! Like tiny geen budlets emerging from beneath the ice and snow. It's dry, but here's a gentle sweetness to it I can't place. It reminds me of the taste of chewing on freshly picked dandelions stems, a childhood pastime. (I was a weird kid, okay?) It also feels a bit woody to me, because it smells a bit like the smell of a brand new paperback book. It's very nice, almost elegant; a lovely gentle scent with moderate sillage. At first I found it a little to refined for me, but now I think I might wear it to see Jane Eyre. It makes me wish I had white elbow length gloves with pearl button clasps to wear with it when I go. In fact, I wish I had a whole soft lacey outfit. 4 of 5 nods.

Wednesday: By Kilian Beyond Love - Notes: gardenia, orange blossom, tuberose, coconut, jasmine, ambergris, and musk Tonkin complex. Hello again, gardenia and tubereuse. I have randomly chosen you again. I was wondering what the citrus was lurking and then I looked at the notes -- ah, hello orange blossom! I also get a lot of the rubber-y aspects of tubereuse, which I personally love. It's summer and I go to the ocean at least once a month (including the last two weeks), so happy am I if a scent smells like familiar beach scents, including a dryness that even reminds me of the smell of warm sand. This is like laying on your stomach in the sun, with your eyes closed, the water crashing in the background, and the gentle scent of flowers being carried toward you on the breeze. Not overly sweet, either, so if Annick Goutal Songes is too sweet for you, this might be a better fit for you. 4 of 5 nods.

Thursday: Soivohle Writing Lyrical Poetry (on a Bright, New Day) -Lush white flowers of gardenia, jasmine, lily of the valley, orange blossom and lilac, with cassis, red berries, freesia, sandalwood, oakmoss, soft musk, vanilla, and civet. I get a wallop of cassis, citrus, and tart berries in the opening. The middle is nice blend of white flowers, none particularly dominant on me. Later the civet and oakmoss come through, balancing the floral with a moss and earth tone. The civet isn’t too strong, so if you are not into civet, fear not. I also recommend this for people who would like a white floral that wasn’t all about the big flowers. It’s very well made and subtle as such scents go, and makes an excellent white floral for the hot days ahead. 3 of 5 nods.

Friday: DSH Perfumes Cimabue (Italian Journey no. 8) - Bergamot, Bitter Orange, Cardamom Seed, Clementine, Italian Neroli, Lemon, Nutmeg, Carnation Absolute, Cinnamon Bark, Clove Bud, Egyptian Rose Geranium, Grandiflorum Jasmine, Honey Beeswax, Moroccan Rose Absolute, Mysore Sandalwood, Saffron absolute, Tuberose Absolute, Ciste Absolute, East Indian Sandalwood, Labdanum, Oppopanax, Siam Benzoin, Tahitian Vanilla, Tamil Nadu Sandalwood, Vanilla Absolute. What wonderful scent! Though I think it is more of a wintery, holiday scent, Cimabue is so delightful. It smells like warm eggnog, complete with a sprinkling of nutmeg, cinnamon, and clove on top. I am definitely going to buy this, and I will bring it out when I start getting the urge to play Christmas music in July, I am definitely bringing this out. Definitely on my “to buy” list for its unique qualities. 4 of 5 nods.

Winner of the Week: Tough call! I don’t honestly think I can choose this week. I can honestly recommend trying them all.

"But I know myself better than I used to.
And I have some type of respect for the things that I do.
Don't you think that you should come on, now,
cut the cord from the cloth before it tears you down."
~ "Devil in You," The Watson Twins

May 2011 drawing!

It's that time of the month -- samples and mixed CD drawing time.  The winner will receive the very mix above, held by yours truly.

To enter, post here by Sunday May 5, 11:59 PM PST. Tell me what you're what kind of weather you're having and the scent you chose to go with it.  We're having lots of weird fluxing weather here, which makes me want to change scents every fifteen minutes.

Any and all welcome to enter!

UPDATE: Congrats to Elisa!

Don't let me be alone. It's tearing apart my blue, blue heart.

The Prom @ Seaside, OR

Perfume Challenge Week 19: Monday, 5/23/11, to Friday, 5/27/11

Happy Memorial weekend, all! I don't know about you, but I'm at the beach for the weekend. If it's pretty, I'm walking along the water’s edge, and if not, and currently they are predicting not, I'm holed up in my room drinking coffee and watching the water from my window. Either way, epic winning! I'd prefer to have company, but sometimes a little alone time is good, too.  Also, if it's raining, I'm probably watching Dr. Who and eating ice cream in bed.  I don't know, at the moment I'm writing this, if I'm actually doing that while you're reading, but I like the idea of it enough that we'll go ahead and say that's what I'm doing right now, shall we?

This week I bring you six fabulous scents from slumberhouse, which I am proud to say is located here at home in Portland, Oregon.

Monday: slumberhouse Kote - The juice of clementines, dried with tobacco leaves and left in the sun to dry. Oh, oh, oh. I love this! The opening is highly acidic citrus orange that slides into warm tobacco. It's a little sweet and a lot of heat, but I wouldn't call it stereotypically 'masculine.' I even get a bit of hot rubber or maybe newly tarred road in the middle. Later it becomes a light green tobacco, almost like a field of fresh leaf. It grows less tart and more sweet as the drydown continues. Less sweet than CB I Hate Perfume Smokey Tobacco Accord, and more interesting and singular than Etat Libre d’Orange Jasmin et Cigarettes, both of which I really enjoy. Excellent. 5 of 5 nods.

Tuesday: slumberhouse Mur - Purist and rural elements - cassis, mate, bees wax and honey hay on a rich base of vetiver grass. Hay there! You know what this reminds me of? Livestock shows. Barns. Carnivals at fair grounds. Wild game cook-offs. And maybe that doesn't sound wonderful to you, but to me? Describes the adventures of my childhood. I went to at least one hay floored wonderland every year growing up in Texas, and this reminds me of those days. Clean, dry, sweet hay and cut grasses for feed. As a scent, I love it. I want it. If only I could figure out when or where I'd wear it. Ah, well. I've come to that point in perfumistahood where I buy the perfume and make the opportunity to wear it, not the other way around. 5 of 5 nods.

Wednesday: slumberhouse Verg - A heart chord of neroli that is animated with the brightness of ginger paints the unmistakable image of spring, while oakmoss and tobacco absolute adds a subdued grittiness in the base. A fragrance that feels like an invisible appendage outdoors, crowned in a headspace dusted with raspberry ketone. I don't get a lot of neroli or ginger; I do get grittiness. I never knew you could capture the sensation of making a cheese and mayo sandwich on white bread at the beach and, biting into it, feeling the unexpected crunch of sand between your teeth. It's so hard to describe! I don't get ginger in the open, but yes, definitely some raspberry. The grit kicks in about two minutes later, and to me it smells like hot concrete. Houston in July, but almost peppery. slumberhouse says this is supposed to be springy, but I don’t get springy. I just get weird. Not bad weird, but not I want to own it weird, either. I wish the raspberry notes hung around more. I think I might love it then.  (Though how the raspberry manages to stay there along the edge, like something you see out of the corner of your eye that disappears the moment you turn your head, I find fascinating.) Definitely worth trying, though. 4 of 5 nods.

Thursday: slumberhouse Eki - Saccharine jasmine and magnolia. Sweet and quite ethereal. What a light white flower scent! From the description I was expecting something moderately aggressive, ‘ethereal’-ness notwithstanding. It actually is ethereal, though. Very gentle and sweet, riding so close to the skin you have to get very close to smell it. If you were looking for a white flower scent to get snuggly in, this is a great one. It transitions into a sweet little scent that reminds me a bit of natural toothpaste, but not in a bad way. It blooms beautifully around the hour mark, like the swell of a chorus, before the final gentle fall. Very nice. 3 of 5 nods.

Friday: slumberhouse Kere - Milky apricot, white chocolate and spiced plum-meat accords add texture and color to syrupy orange honeysuckle absolute and licorice within a halo of vaporous aldehydes reminiscent of champagne fizz. A circus of bizarre pairings harmonized in a blurring fashion that slowly devolves into spicy sugared hay & caramel. Definitely white chocolate and licorice in the open, dark and deep black licorice-y, but also creamy and white, which makes for a unique combination. Later, it becomes more like powdered chocolate; it’s so dry. One of the most wonderful chocolate scents I have ever smelled. It’s practically edible. I find myself wanting to lick my own hand. I definitely prefer Kere to Il Profumo Chocolat EDP, which is not nearly as realistic as this is. 5 of 5 nods

Friday: slumberhouse Flou - The translucent sunbaked meat of crushed concord grapes through fractals of summer elements. My first thought? Momma-said-knock-you-out strength irises drenched in Welch's grape juice. It's so grape, it's graptastic!  You would think that would make it a youthful scent, but it doesn't feel youthful to me.  It smells sexy and a little aggressive, like a very well-made heel with a good pair of dark jeans. Sexy in the way that makes you want to wander through the grape fields and feel the rich dirt in your hands.  I am so stunned by how lovely it is, when I would have told you almost anything made of grapes would feel fake and childish, like candy.  I tend to like grape leaf scents, but not grape or wine scents. This one of the most wonderful scents I’ve tried in quite a long time. So good I practically need to create a six to quantify its AWESOMENESS. I wandered about all day, being hit by it and thinking, that’s Fantastic! What is that fantasticness? Oh, it’s me! Not enough exclamation points! I think this is what I expected CB I Hate Perfume Under the Arbor to smell like, but now I think that is the grape arbor, and this here is the grapes. My only regret?  It's available only in very small quantity, whilst I want to take a bath in it.  Very little appears to be available, too (perhaps it's a LE?), so I bought mine before telling you about it. Sorry about that. It's a reflex. You know what they say -- all's fair in love, war, and perfume. Absolutely 5 of 5 nods.

Winner of the Week Too much awesomeness to choose -- I tried six scents and two thirds of them were fives. Definitely try everything coming out of this house. It’s clearly genius. *Snoopy-style happy dance*

"I'd have sworn that with time 
thoughts of you would leave my head. 
I was wrong. 
Now I find just one thing makes me forget..." 
~ "Red, Red Wine," Bob Marley

Images from Visit Seaside Oregon, xsphotos, and agnesswart.

We're drinking and we're dancing and the band is really happening and the Johnny Walker wisdom running high...

Perfume Challenge Week 18: Monday, 5/16/11, to Friday, 5/20/11

"Ah, we're lonely, we're romantic
and the cider's laced with acid
and the Holy Spirit's crying, 
'Where's the beef?' 

And the moon is swimming naked
and the summer night is fragrant
with a mighty expectation of relief."

This week in Oregon, we had two consecutive completely sunny days with temperatures in the 70s. This is the first time this has happened since October 19th and 20th, 2010. That's right -- seven months. If that isn't a sign of end times, I don't know what is. At this moment, the day is overcast, but that doesn't change the fact that when the weather is lovely, and it's been a long time since it's been lovely, we Oregonians get really excited. Me? I went for several long, barefoot walks. It was nice.

You know, when I wrote about the rapture last week, I didn't even know it was going to be a big deal this week. If we've got to go, at least the weather was nice this week. In all seriousness, though, I feel unspeakably sad for those who have nothing to live for but their faith in a better life after this one. Because this one? It can be pretty powerfully awesome when you really stop to appreciate it. And part of what makes it awesome is all this wonderful perfume.

Monday: Jo Malone Grapefruit - Notes: grapefruit, tangerine, vetiver, rosemary. A bitter sharp take on the fruit, with none of the sweetness you expect.  It reminds me of the first sharp tang of a large gulp of grapefruit juice, like fruit rind and pulp instead of the fruit itself, and also a little bit like dried and cracked leather and pencil shavings.  Not bad, but not what I'd like out of a grapefruit.  If you like less sweet fruits, though, definitely give it a try.  3 of 5 nods.

Tuesday: Miller Harris Figue Amere - Notes: figs, green violet, amber and cedar. Holy moly, bitter fig is right! Oh god, the applicaton is almost a scrubber for me. It's true that it never hits the super sweet you expect from a fig, but I kind of wish it did. The dry down is a light amber and cedar blend, which is nice enough actually, but not particularly figgy. And the figgy part is just....wow, does not work for me.  I just have such a difficulty with the bitterness.  It's like an aspirin dissolving on the tongue.  2 of 5 nods.

Wednesday: DSH Perfumes Butterfly - Notes: Blood Orange (Israel), Lime Peel, Mango, Melon, Ocean, Egyptian Blue Lotus, Gardenia, Green Tea, Honey, Jasmine, Purple Lilac, Tiger Lily, Amber, Brazilian Vetiver, Chai Tea, Musk, Sandalwood, True Arabian Myrrh. What a sparkly lovely spring scent. I typically do not love any scent with the word "ocean" in the notes, but this works for me. Maybe because there is so much going on I can't quite determine what I'm getting other than zesty, bright, sparkling, light, and effervescent. The immediate opening is orange-y, but soon I get a burst of lime peel and green tea, myrrh. I like it so much -- and that's rare or me for such a bright floral. I bought an ounce after a quick sniff from a wand sampler, and I don't regret it at all. 4 of 5 nods.

Thursday: Ava Luxe Opoponax Intense - Notes: opoponax, amber, vanilla, Himalayan cedar, Mysore sandalwood, iris,black rose, jasmine, orris.. Reminds me of Calvin Klein Obsession, except way nicer. Its sweeter and less synthetic, and where Obsession is peppery, sharp and green Opoponax Intense is gentle, sweet, and lulling. It's like the difference between 80s florescent and a naturally bright color. It's beautiful if you like that super-duper sweetness of the big 80's O variety, definitely give this one a whirl. 4 of 5 nods

Friday: Jo Wood Organics Amka - Notes: Iranian rose otto, Egyptian jasmine, neroli, bergamot, green mandarin, sweet orange, cedarwood. Bergmot, neroli, and orange dominate the top creating a crisp, light scent. I love how green and limey it is. This is a perfect scent for warm weather. It reminds me of laying in the shade under a tree in a citrus grove, the grass awaying gently around me. My only complaint is the it doesn't have greaat lasting power, but in Amka's defense, I did not have a sample I could spray myself wet with, which may be the way to make the loveliness last. This is everything I wanted Jo Malone Lime Basil & Mandarin to be. 3.5 of 5 nods.

Winner of the Week: This is so tough. I think I'm giving the tie to Ava Luxe Opoponax Intense and Jo Wood Organics Amka, though I love Butterfly and own it, so there you go. For those of you who love Figue Amere, I'm sorry. I just can't get into it and I tried three times. When I want strong fig leaf, I go to Olympic Orchid's Midsummer Day's Dream.

For those of you who don't get raptured today, I'll still be here next week, heathen that I am, to bring you more post-apocalyptic, perfumey thoughts. If you're looking for safe haven and can make it to Lewis amp; Clark, we will be more than happy to take you into our community. And for the record, the same holds true for a Zombie apocalypse.

"So we struggle and we stagger 

down the snakes and up the ladder
to the tower where the blessed hours chime
and I swear it happened just like this:
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss,
the Gates of Love they budged an inch.
I can't say much has happened since
but closing time."

~ "Closing Time," Leonard Cohen

Photos by Diana Wiener Rosengard, 2011. All rights reserved.

April Drawing Winner -- Undina!

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Undina, congrats on winning April's drawing!  You will get a mixed CD with well-meaning but poorly executed hand drawn art made by yours truly 1995 style, and five samples.  In an effort to aid your exploration, let's chat via email about what I've got that you would like to try.  I'm happy to provide a list I'd be willing to part with/decant from so you can ensure you'll get brand new things to try for your blog, which I am enjoying, admittedly lurker-style.

Email me: feminine.things @ gmail.com.

I was told I was beautiful but what does that mean to you?

Perfume Challenge Week 17: Monday, 5/9/11, to Friday, 5/13/11

As I driving home yesterday afternoon along a long ribboning road with an obscured view of snow capped mountains way off in the distance, a fire truck rolled out, light and sirens blaring. It was followed soon thereafter by an ambulance. In both cases, all traffic on both sides of this six lane, two-way highway stopped. Those traveling in the opposite direction pulled to the right to allow the vehicles to pass, but even traffic in my direction stopped, just froze right where it was, in case the emergency vehicles needed to cut over to our side and weave between us to get where they needed to be. In that frozen moment I had a few thoughts:

1. I love that I live in a place, and that it still exists on earth, where even a million people crowded together and in the middle of the busy commute home on a Friday afternoon, will all simply stop in unison, even when not all of us needed to, so that someone in need can be reached by those trying to help them. I like to believe it's asign of compassion seeping through cracks in our hard and cyncial shells.

2. If the rapture actually does come, it will look just like this -- the world frozen in place, cars stopped dead in the middle of the road, people just taken bodily from wherever they are. For some reason, it reminds me of the Ray Bradbury story "There Will come Soft Rains", where the family simply isn't there anymore but the technology lives on in fits and starts for a while. It's strange to think we have the capacity to do that, simply vaporize other people en masse, that we ever wanted it. Just because you can do a thing doesn't always mean you should. Humanity isn't always so good at grasping that concept.

Well, that's enough deep thoughts for the day, I'd wager.

Monday: Sage Onyx - Notes: Black Coconut, Tobacco, Oakmoss, Vanilla, Amber, Musk. Very coconut and vanilla up top, for a super sweet scent that reminds me of eating a white chocolate dipped macaroon. It's even a little mildly salty on me, though I don't get any tobacco (a shame -- I like tobacco). Onyx is a snuggly, warm sweet tropical scent thanks to the oakmoss and musk. It is a night time of tropical fun, as though created from the smell floating through a window into a hotel room after quite a bit of noctural fun has been had. A little bit naughty, a lot nice on its own merits, but when I've already got bottles of Coty Sand and Sable, CB I Hate Perfume At the Beach 1966, Creed Virgin Island Water, and Annick Goutal Songes, it's safe to say that my tropical/beachy dance card is quite full. 3 of 5 nods.

Tuesday: By Kilian A Taste of Heaven EdP - Notes: Calabria bergamot oil, geranium bourbon oil, orange flower absolute, Turkish rose absolute, green absinthe oil, lavender barreme oil, lavandin abrialis oil, lavandin green absolute, lavandin green, concrete, Indonesian patchouli oil, oak moss extract, costus oil, ambrarome absolute, vanilla bean absolute, tonka beans. Described as an "absinthe verte," menthol goes honey sweet with a bit of cinnamon and coppery penny scent. Thirty minutes in I get with a wallop of patchoui that takes the sweetness down a step in a way a really enjoy. Nice, and definitely on the drier side of sweet for me, this might make an excellent gourmand light for those who cannot stand the super saccharine affairs that dominate the field. 4 of 5 nods.

Wednesday: Les Nereides Musc de Java - Notes: light musk, berries, blackcurrant, violet leaves, sage, fresh cut hay. Violets and too new green berries become sage become hay with just a hint of blackcurrant. If you like L'Artisan Mure et Musc, or even if you hate it, give this a try. It's greener and less sweet than the aforementioned L'Artisan offering, which I prefer. The berries became stronger on me for the two to six hour period but the green is still there. Nice longevity, it's making the "when I get around to it I'd like to have this" list. 3.5 of 5 nods.

Thursday: L'Atelier Boheme Immortelle EdP - Notes: Brazilian tangerine, Italian bergamot, light florals, pomegranate, amber, immortelle.

Holy mother of baby powder! If you want to be slapped in the face with a fierce amount of amber and immortelle, this is a great scent for you. I'm gonna be straight with you, it's hard for me to get anything else right now other than dry, hay-like, carmeled powdery sweetness. It's really remarkable in the sense that the opening is like someone taking Loves Baby Soft (but way, way better) and powered it up by a factor of a thousand.

Two years ago, I would have flung the vial as far from me as possible because I didn't like it. Now, I'm not sure if I like it, but I think it's an incredible feat someone managed to make a scent this strongly aspected. I'm trying really hard to imagine a circumstance where I'd want to smell like someone just hit me in the face with a comet-sized powder puff, but all I can think is pink, pink, pink! I think I'd need to be in the mood to do it up Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette style, and I have never once sported a bouffant hair so I can't imagine wearing it. FN1.

And yet, I weirdly want it, just like I want this crazy Marie Antoniette Barbie. Yes, it's absurd and limiting and whatever, but damn -- it's so pretty. And sometimes a body wants pretty. FN2. FN3. Really wanting to try Annick Goutal Sables now, so I can have some other immortelle to compare to. 4 of 5 nods.

Friday: Bond No. 9 Scent of Peace - Notes: Grapefruit, black currant, lily of the valley, musk. Scent of Peace was created by Bond as "our post-9/11 conviction that peace is a beautiful, beautiful thing." The opening of the scent itself is a light, soapy and clean floral with gentle fruity highlights. This part is well-made, but not particularly unique. On me it starts out green, and I get a moderate serving on lily of the valley, but pretty soon it becomes the strangest scent on me. It smells like the taste of really cold, clean water, or maybe the taste of snowflakes on the tongue. I don't know if I find that peaceful; maybe I do. I certainly find it remarkable. One of my favorite things about perfume is that I never stop being surprised. Even when I think I know what will happen next when I put it on, I don't always. I love that. 5 of 5 nods.

Winner of the Week: Wow, really hard to choose this week. I think I'm giving it to Bond No. 9 Scent of Peace, for its unique, quiet, and wow, yeah, actually peaceful qualities. Rarely is it an obliquely named bottle contains what it advertises.  PDXers, I recently found out that Bond No. 9 is coming to the downtown Nordstrom, so keep that in mind when you're planning your summer scent purchases!

"You can buy your hair if it won't grow.
You can fix your nose if he says so.
You can buy all the make up
that M.A.C. can make,
but if you can't look inside you
find out who am I too
be in the position to make me feel so damned unpretty..."
~ "Unpretty," TLC

Photos: 
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FN1. Okay, not on purpose. I am a native Texan after all. Big hair just comes as a genetic gift. Just this morning I was blowing out my hair and found myself pleased because I had managed to make my already thick head of hair look fuller rather than sleeker. I actually had to stop myself, and ask the mirror "Where the hell did that come from?" I'm going to blame the resurgence of 80's styled cuts, which currently has me sporting a longer version of Joan Jett's hair circa 1985, but with swoopy side bangs and red instead of black, of course.

F2. I have a sick fascination with Barbies. I look at them, and I see the distorted body image and the perfect, smooth, plastic skin and realize it's part of what makes me hate my own body, and yet I cannot stop loving her. Sometimes I think that's the most amazingly insidious aspect of mysogany -- I love and admire the thing I will never be, and therefore hate and admire her in equal measure. And we wonder why women stuggle to have relationships with one another...

FN3. Speaking of which -- did everyone see the Glee "If Feel Pretty/Unpretty" mash-up from a couple of weeks ago? Sometimes the show does a number that really hits on something really. It gives me hope Glee! gets back to the original awesomeness it had. If any of the writers are reading this, I have suggestions.