The Reeking Stench of Bitterness (aka Scents for When I am All Bad Moody)

Get that AWAY FROM ME!

There are some days when I wake up, get dressed, trundle over to my perfume cabinet and shudder in horror at the thought of wearing some of my truly beloved scents.

Why?

I overslept, my hair is wet, I don't have a stitch of make-up on, and my general attitude is that the world at large should just be glad I got out of bed and participated today. In other words, I am feeling, if you'll pardon the expression, like hammered shit, and there is no way I feel bold and sassy enough for a dose of Tauer Perfumes Une Rose Chypre, or beautiful enough for my tiny vial of Robert Piguet Fracas parfum, or thin enough for a hit of vintage Caron Tabac Blond, or sexy enough for my roller of DSH Perfumes Erotica.

Everything I pick up is like that quote from High Fidelity: "The thing I really learned from the Charlie Debacle is that you gotta punch your weight. Charlie was out of my class: too pretty, too smart, too witty, too much." There are days when a lot of my favorite scents are, quite frankly, too pretty, too bold, too sexy, too classy -- too much. I can't face them. I want to go back to bed and only strength of will and a desire not to get canned in the worst economy in a century make me do otherwise.

On these days, it can be very hard to find a fragrance and you definitely do not want to be testing anything, because the anxiety of trying something beautiful in an awful mood and hating it is deeply depressing in its own right. To that end, here are some thoughts on scenting your way through the dark down days.

~ Don't be afraid to be a coward. ~

A lot of people will tell you try new scents, look for inspiration, challenge yourself to rise above it and find the invigorating meat of life that will help you turn your mood around. To these folks I say, SHUT IT. In the immortal words of Winona Ryder in Heathers, "If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a person. You'd be a game show host." You're not doing yourself or any hard working perfumer a favor if the stream of cursing running through your mind as you spritz on a new scent is filth of the order most frequently uttered by eight-year-old boys who have just acquired a naughty vocab and are out of their parents' earshot. Run, don't walk, from challenging material. Be a coward today; it's cool. We all do it sometimes.

In bad moods people tend to: eat their favorite foods, wear their snuggly pajamas, watch their favorite movies. We seek, in a word, comfort. The unknown is not comforting. Because I'm not talking about ennui here; that's a different problem. FN1. I'm talking about a black mood, Sally, and not one born of the cumulative circumstances in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, which might be overcome by a good ending a beautiful scent might provide because you're open to such a possibility. I'm talking about waking up on the wrong side of the bed and knowing the day will suck because you are in the mood to refuse any argument to the contrary.

On such a day, wear something you have absolutely no complaint about. If you have always and will ever after, Amen, loved Guerlain Shalimar or can’t get enough of Channel No. 5 EDT, bust that baby out. If you're ready to bite the heads off everyone, don't let a challenging scent get in the way.

This is my FIGHT FACE!

~ Wear a scent you already unconditionally love even if it is common, bad, or otherwise embarrassing. ~ 

Yes! Embrace the known, the overworn, the possibly common and mundane. If you have a big bottle of Estee Lauder White Linen or Ceasar Woman lurking in the back of the closet because you like them and don't care if other people think they are overworn or smell cheap or just all around suck in general, bring it out into the light. Have a brief, torrid, public love affair with banality! Love your bottle of GAP So Pink! with all your heart. You were already in the mood to tell the world “Screw You!” for the sake of it; you might as well wear a scent that might give you the opportunity.

~ Wear a scent that others find boring. ~

Yep. You've all got one. I know you do. You've got a scent you love but other people think smells like a dryer sheet, or you think smells like winter and noses in the knowes think of as white noise. Normally your friends notice and comment on the olfactory beauty in your wake, or hug you and say, "You smell wonderful, (sigh) as always," and then grill you on your recent scent choices. Perhaps on another day you might not want to admit that next to that $300 bottle of LE L'Artisan lurks a bottle of Paris Hilton Fairy Dust, but I say now is the hour of your reckoning! Get down with that reject scent; you're already feeling rejected and full of bile. Spray it all over and then if someone frowns at you, wave your arms wildly, spreading your averageness around like an obscuring cloud of scent underachievement.

~ Wear a scent that flies a little under the radar. ~

I have some very lovely scents that wear close to the skin and, unless you actually get closer than eight inches to me, you would never know they were there. FN2. These are the scents I am most likely to turn to when my mood is more rotten than a crab apple full of worms. Not because there is anything shameful or embarrassing or boring or wrong with them. Simply because the only statement I am hoping to make today is one to myself, a small reminder that despite the general bitterness eating at me these long hours, tomorrow will be better.

Must remember:
Not a workplace
appropriate response!

In these moods, I really like green scents. I like to use DSH Perfumes Hemlock or a little Miller et Bertaux No. 3 Green, Green, Green, Green to help assuage my ill temperament, though the latter is almost too large sillage-wise for this mood. Big sillage means attracting attention, and in this mood, I want no such thing. I know on these days I can be hard to deal with; no need to inflict that on anyone but myself. FN3. I need to purchase JoAnne Bassett's Night Queen, not because it isn't beautiful or glorious on me, but because I think I would find it equally silver-lining inspiring.

Another scent I find really comforting is Demeter Fragrance Library Salt Air, which has a harsh edge to it and isn't super low sillage, but doesn't necessarily smell perfumey, and therefore is unnoticed by everyone but me. There is something about being able to put my headphones on with the volume cranked and close my eyes and give my wrist a little sniff and pretend for a few minutes I am not trapped at work but instead barreling down the highway along the coast with the windows down that makes me feel a tiny bit better.

You know what else is comforting? Foodie scents. L'Artisan Bois Farine, aka the infamous "bread hologram" is really comforting and moderate to low sillage in smallish doses. Another scent that makes me feel better on a bad day is Olympic Orchids Carolina, which smells like banana bread and is similar to Washington Tremlett Royal Heroes 1805, but better smelling and better priced.

And last, but not least, I always feel it's best to smell like a cocktail when I really, really want one. To that end, I have the terrific Memoire Liquide Champagne et Mure #900 and Frapin 1270 EDP to make me feel boozy, but without the drunken rambling over-truthfulness I’m prone to in my tipsy moments.

What about you dear reader? What do you wear when you have a black day? Tell me below to enter a monthly mix drawing , this one my much overdue August 2011 draw. August 2011 Mix CD, which is a mix mostly of which what I was listening to in August, some new, some old, all awesome. Winner will also recieve a $15 gift certificate to their choice of Demeter Fragrance Library or The Perfumed Court, a few decants, and possibly a post card and other goodies.

Comment by Friday October 28, 2011 12:01AM PST to enter!

At least one more draw this week, so stay tuned.
_____________________
FN1. See video here for explanation.
FN2. Too close, you fool! I'm in the mood to ax-murder a body! NEVER GET THAT CLOSE IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES! I could snap your poor self in half with nothing more than my jaws of viciousness on such an occasion.
FN3. And my lovely and long-suffering husband, who gets the backwash of my bad moody days by virtue of living with me, sadly.

I sit there staring when there's nothing else to do.

Perfume Challenge Week 25: Monday, 7/4/11, to Friday, 7/8/11

Lorelai: So, Mia, how's living in Santa Barbara?
Mia: Horrible. Did you know the damn sun shines all the time out there?
Rory: They've written songs about that.

Mia's attitude about the devil sun that is haunting my days and actively trying to burn my skin mirrors my own. I've been feeling vaguely filled with melancholia lately because of the excess sun and lack of cool, cloudy days. This is exacerbated by my coming trip to Houston.

I'm going home for a very happy occasion. My (adoptive) sister, Erica, is having a baby girl and I am thrilled for her, her partner, and their budding family. I am not happy to be returning to Texas for the first time in three plus years at the height of the July heat. Also, going there reminds me of things, bad things, and I don't love remembering the life I had there. I'm definitely one of those people who is happy that you can never go home again. It helps relieve the expectation that you actually try.

I'm hopeful, though. Every few weeks, I break a nail and have to cut all my nails short again. When I do, I experience a sensation that I didn't have the first twenty-fivish years of my life, when I was so nervous and scared of the mere act of living that I bit at my hands until they bled.

I feel the itchy sensation of newly revealed skin interacting with the world, before it gets used to the cold and wet and hot and heavy and becomes sort of numb. It's not what I'd call a good feeling. Frankly, it can be irritating and uncomfortable. But it reminds me that I am alive, and every day, I grow and heal and repair myself, over and over, in ways I can't even imagine. Every few years, almost everything about this body I inhabit has died and been replaced by new flesh, new cells, new blood.

In light of that, it’s not hard to imagine new beginnings. After all, I was born, I have died, I am alive again, brand new. It will happen again. And again. So maybe this time won't be so bad. At some point, I'll stop hating the mere experience of being there, right? One of these newly born iterations of myself will eventually shed the baggage and be able to handle it gracefully. Until then, I keep the visits short, and breath deep, and try bringing the most calming scents I can stuff in my bag.

Speaking of lovely and calming scents, I was delivered a lovely set of samples from the generous Maria McElroy, perfumer of amora M perfumes. The line is described as follows:

Imagine a stroll through the ancient, cobble stoned streets of Gion, the legendary Geisha district of Kyoto. Peek into a tea room imbued with the sound of shamisen, with the scent of delicate incense wafting through the doorway. Feel the fluid seductiveness of a silk kimono wafting against your skin. These are some of the multi-sensuous delights that have gone into the blending of the Geisha Collection from Aroma M: The Art of Scent. Included in the collection are perfume oils and eau de parfum's, available in eleven lush and unique fragrances that interpret the subtly mysterious aromas of Japan for the modern Western scent aficionado.

Maria's Aroma M scents are created with the subtle (never overpowering) sensibility of Japanese incense blends in mind. In addition, armed with her aromatherapy background, Maria ensures that her fragrances are not only beguiling, but help alleviate daily stress and promote well-being. As natural as possible without losing their diffusing power, they are made with the finest essential oils.

Monday: aroma M Geisha Blanche - Geisha Blanche is cool, beckoning, enticing. Its blend of white flowers gives a subtle sweet appeal. Here is one beautiful, feminine fragrance that is based on flowers, but with the addition of lychee conveys the meaning of cool summer sensuality.

This is a truly lovely scent. It is a white floral, yes, but not overly so. The lychee adds this sweet cooling aspect that makes the scent seem like a bouquet of candied flowers and fruit. Moderate sillage, and I think would make a lovely gift for a younger woman and while seasonally more of a summer scent, I think it would make a nice counterpoint to a wet fall day, when one feels wistful for the sun and the beautiful flowers of spring. 3 of 5 nods.

Tuesday: aroma M Geisha O-Cha - “O-cha” green tea, a delicate blend of traditional Japanese green tea, sweet orange, and clary sage.

Wow, very orange and sage, realistically so on application. The tea aspect is less strong in the opening than in the middle, but once it kicks in it balances very nicely with the other scents. When I was little, my mom used to make this tea mixture for me when I was sick, made of sugar, Lipton instant tea, and Tang! It sounds gross, but it was actually delicious, and remains a wonderful memory to me. This is more complex and strongly herbal than that, and the orange fades out considerably. The sillage is low on this one, but it is beautiful and gentle. O-Cha would make a great spring scent; I can imagine putting it on and heading over to sit along the peaceful paths of Portland’s beautiful Japanese gardens. 4 of 5 nods.

Wednesday: aroma M Geisha Rouge - A scent of vital sexiness that is not based on flowers, but on the seductive spices and woods used in traditional Japanese incense—cinnamon, star of anise, clove, and sandalwood—spiked with tobacco, smooth vanilla, and sultry tonka bean.

Seductive is right on the money! The combination of cinnamon, anise, clove, vanilla, and tonka bean always strikes me quite a bit of baking goods, and combined with tobacco I always personally get a mental imagine of fresh baked holiday cookies or banana bread. I would absolutely recommend this for each and every day between the fourth Thursday in November and January 1. Not that you have to think of this as a holiday scent, though I personally do. After a while the sweetness backs off and it grows a little more medicinal, which moves this away from homey and sweet and toward sexy and hot. two hours later it was sweet again, but the sexy-hot still haunted me around the edges.

Definitely a must try if you like Washington Tremlett Royals Heroes 1805 or Olympic Orchids Carolina. Delicious, delightful, de-lovely. Big sillage, so not workplace friendly if your workplace is anything like mine. 4 of 5 nods.

Thursday: aroma M Geisha Violet - The sweet scent of violet, suffused with lilac and ethereal Japanese lotus, spiked with bitter chocolate: That’s the recipe for Geisha Violet, Aroma M’s first new fragrance in three years. Geisha Violet is by no means old-fashioned here, this updated classic is boldly transposed into the 21st century. The drydown is the main attraction: cool, fresh violet and lotus dance so eloquently with chocolate notes--not foody, nor overly sweet, it's an elegant composition that begs you to sniff... and sniff.... and sniff in delight. Completely original. Notes: violet, lilac, lotus, chocolate

Remember how I was just talking about banana baked goods? Holy crimoly! This is a woooooooooooonderful really green unripened banana flesh at the opening. The violet and lilac are well balanced, but the strongest aspect for me is the lotus. EauMG didn't get a lot of chocolate, and I didn't either, but it didn't bother me at all. The chocolate note is probably responsible for some of the sweetness. Carrie at eyeliner on a cat thought it was figgy, and while I get edible, it I don't get fig. It really is a smooth banana on me, in a fresh real fruit way that I have never encountered in a scent before.  The tail end is very gourmand, but toward the vanilla end of the spectrum, but still light and lovely. Light to moderate sillage. 5 of 5 nods for the originality and perfect balance of this scent.

Friday: aroma M Geisha Pink - A shot of sugared plum, with fresh orange added for tang, and vanilla for seductive staying power. This is a young Eastern-accented scent, brimming with sexiness.

The orange here smells like orange pith and is strong in the opening, and the plum is strangely not sweet either. I understand this is one of their more popular scents, but it's got this bitter green edge to it I can't get past, which reminds me of standing in a field of over-ripened melons on a hot day. That said, I hate melon. True story. Cantaloupe, honey dew, you name it; these items are listed under "Things that make Diana go blech!" So it's entirely to a non-melon hater, this is a fantastic scent. For me? Sadly a non-starter in an otherwise fantastic week of scents.

Winner of the Week: It's a toss-up between aroma M Geisha Rouge and aroma M Geisha Violet with Violet winning for sheer originality I think. Either way, great scents, and a great line worth trying.

I'll leave you with this, a truly fantastic video of Kristen Dunst as an anima-style magical princess doing The Vapor’s “Turning Japanese.” It’s never been clear to me why Dunst made this video, or why it was subsequently played in the Toronto Museum of Art, but I have been vaguely obsessed with it since I found it a couple of years ago.

"Your eyes are hazel and soft as clouds.
I often kiss you when there's no one else around."
~ "Turning Japanese," The Vapors

You can by aroma Mperfumes direct from the perfumer or through LuckyScent.

Perfumes reviewed above generously provided by the perfumer.

And when she's pressed, she will undress, and then she's boxing clever...

Washington Tremlett Black Tie

Things have been busy this week here on the Hill. I guest lectured yesterday at a local University on “Feminist Jurisprudence and Reproductive Rights,” which went pretty well. Last night a birthday party for Kate, today a wedding open house at a local vender with another friend, doctor’s appointment, and then the aforementioned presentation with Angela from Now Smell This! at the Lewis & Clark Gender Symposium. I’m also swamped with job application stuff, which seems to all be due this week or in about 10 days. I really hope something comes of all this, because I am so ready to go back to work.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking perfume all day. In fact, I’ve been working on our presentation today in between appointments and applications, so I’ve got lots of perfume-y thought rolling around up there. In fact, I’m so focused right now, I’ve got David thinking about perfume in the shower. Also, at the party last night, Jill told me, after I sprayed her with Etat Libre d'Orange Jasmin et Cigarettes the other day, she wants to buy it now. < taps fingers together Dr. Evil style > Ah, exxxxxxxxxxxxcellent.

So, on to more perfume conversion efforts.

I pulled the following descriptions of Washington Tremlett Black Tie, from First-in-Fragrance and Luckyscent:

Black Tie. A bloomy bouquet, which rises in a heartnote, to perpetuate in a rich basenote of precious woods.

Washington Tremlett is the company famous for inventing the seven fold tie and for being the official supplier of Duke of Windsor, and so it is very fitting that they would create a fragrance honoring the timeless elegance of their designs. However, don’t expect Black Tie to be a conservatively traditional composition. In fact, it is wonderfully modern, if not avant-garde. Lovers of saffron in perfume, prepare to be wowed! The note is without a doubt the most prominent player in the composition and it is rich, sweetly-spicy, absolutely exquisite. The rest of the notes serve as an elegant background worthy of the precious star ingredient. Galbanum and geranium highlight the brightly aromatic aspect of saffron, whereas rose, tuberose, patchouli and vanilla make the note luxuriously soft, serving as a counterbalance to the mouthwatering sharpness of the spice. The base of woods, patchouli and vanilla, with lingering traces of golden piquancy of saffron is the most delectable skin-scent we have ever encountered.

Composition: Description -- Head: Saffron, Nutmeg, Galbanum, Sage; Heart: Rose, Geranium, Tuberose; Base: Sandalwood, Vanilla, Patchouly, Musk

Immediately I get nutmeg and rose, then the geranium comes in, giving this an interesting water-y smell. I don't mean aquatic in the sense of the perfume family. I mean that I've traveled and lived all over the US, and while the taste of cold clean fresh water is a little different from place to place, there's this unifying taste of freshness, and that's what I get some of here. It also reminds of the smell of high quality scentless lotion. Even scent free items always seem to have some scent, and this captures that for a moment in a weird way. It would be wrong to say it smells like nothing; it's not an absence of smell. Instead it smells like...purity. It smells the way ivory wedding dresses with no sequins, beads, bows, or bedazzling are supposed to convey love, or the way a perfect white rose petal would feel brushed against your face. But with this little astringent edge. I get basically none of the base yet, but it's only been about 30 minutes. Eventually, like hours later eventually, I got a little bit of sandalwood, but Black Tie didn't change much over time. Overall, though, it's a nice effort. Robin at Now Smell This! recommends it for warm weather wear; I'll have to try it again this summer. Also, I see lots of blogs mentioning "saffron" in their reviews, and maybe it is because I am too used to saffron in a cooking context, but I just don't see it. I hear this one was designed as a masculine. I think it would wear well either way.

You can buy Washington Tremlett Black Tie at the aforementioned Luckyscent or First-in-Fragrance for in 100ml for $160. It's a nice scent, one I'd enjoy having but don't know that I *need* to own (unlike Royal Heroes, which still smells sort of like banana bread and spices to me and thus makes me really want it). It's really lovely though, and if I happen to land a job that pays me super well over the next year, it could certainly end up in my collection. If you wanted something with rose in it that isn't super rose heavy, this might be a nice one to try.

"A friend in need's a friend indeed.
A friend who bleeds is better.
My friend confessed she passed the test
and we will never sever.
Day's dawning...skin's crawling...
Pure morning... pure. morning."
- "Pure Morning," Placebo (You can listen to the song here)

Want more reviews? Try...
~ A review from Robin at Now Smell This!
~ A review from Sorcery of Scent
~ A positive mention from Perfume-Smellin' Things
~ A review from Would Smell As Sweet

Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana...

Washington Tremlett Royals Heroes 1805

Washington Tremlett, was once a famous shirt tailor and inventor of the tie in 1870s Paris. Now the name fronts for a small perfume house. Washington Tremlett Royals Heroes 1805, a scent designed by the perfumer for men, is described as "a strong, definite and authentic burst of dark bergamot with exotic deep spices, precious cedar, a hint of dark patchouli and mild tonka to create a surprising blend." Like the house name, the scent is given a historical spin as Washington Tremlett says its intended to “remind of Horatio Nelson and his "Bootnecks." For those in need of a little history lesson, the perfumer says,

Horatio Nelson had a passionate belief in his ability to become a hero. His famous naval career began in 1771 when he was only 12 years old, and ended with his death at the Battle of Trafalgar on 21 October 1805. His victories and great courage caught the public imagination, and he was indeed considered a hero, both in his own lifetime and in the Victorian period following his death.

The notes given for Royals Heroes 1805 are mandarin, bergamot, clove, anise, cedarwood, patchouli, tonka.

LuckyScent says that Royals Heroes "makes us dream of old libraries in titled English mansions, of fire burning cozily in big fireplaces, of whiskey and cigars." My Royals Heroes-colored dreams are less English nobility and more warm and delicious smells I associate with southern kitchens. On me, the anise is very strong at first but within the first few minutes quickly balances itself against the sweetness of the tonka and the spiciness of the clove. All together, the effect reminds of me of the smell of banana bread loaded with sweet spices, baking. It’s a smell I have loved since I was a little girl, one that I associate along with a few other dishes as the key to comfort in sickness or in health.

You might think it's weird to want to smell like a southern sweet bread made with the ripest bananas you can find, but it's not foodie in the way you think. It's not foodie in the way that gourmands are foodie; I don't really think of it as gourmand. But it has a lovely comforting quality to it that banana bread evokes in me, while at the same time manages to be far more sophisticated than I could ever really call a gourmand. That's no knock on gourmands. I love foodie scents. But it is rare to find a scent that smells like a comforting dessert food that anyone raised by the knee of a woman in a southern kitchen can replicate and at the same time seems appropriate to wear to a black tie event. I think Royals Heroes 1805 is a lovely scent for a woman and the kind of scent that a guy like Chuck Bass wears with sincerity and a man like George Clooney wears with a wry smile and and a dash of irony. Either way, it's a lovely experience.

To buy Royals Heroes 1805, which comes in 3.3oz/100ml bottles for $160, shop BeautyEncounter, LuckyScent, and First in Fragrance.

Work all night on a drink of rum!
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
Stock banana till de mornin' come!
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
- "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)," Harry Belafonte

Want more reviews? Try...
~ This review from Perfume-Smellin' Things.

Images courtesy of Washington Tremlett.